Should I feel guilty if something happens?

[justinufo]

Edit:Not important anymore**

[hamin_aus]

Wow, this girl has problems the PCFormat forums just cannot solve!

Yes, you should feel guilty if she kills herself. Especially if you did nothing to prevent it. Have you spoken to her parents and ecouraged her to seek professional help?

That being said, and with my limited knowledge of women, I think it's unlikely that she will kill herself. Sounds more like a cry for attention to me...

[Tribble]

Oh wow - from my stand point no matter what you do - it will come out badly. I am not sure if she really intends to kill herself but you need to let her mother know if you have that ability. Or a friend at least. Anyone that could get hold of her or her parents.

You can't do nothing - or you will not forgive yourself. You cannot talk to her because you can't give her what she wants. She is not actually your responsibility but a nutty plea as that is - cannot be ignored. From what she says - even if you say you have forgiven her but love another, she will die. So don't tell her - get help for her.

Just my opinion mind. Contacting her directly could go really badly.

[lancelot]

Tell her to grow up, she made a choice, now she needs to live with it. Wish her well , all by email of course. The outcome has sweet nothing to do with you.

[hamin_aus]

Tell her to grow up, she made a choice, now she needs to live with it. Wish her well , all by email of course. The outcome has sweet nothing to do with you.

You're quite the internet tough guy today.

You mean to tell me that if you played a not-insignificant roll in a human being taking their own life you would be able to walk away jauntily?

[qwiksilva666]

I agree with lance! Shes trying to turn the situation around, and the only way to do is to try bring justinufo down to a level lower than the level she was on while cheating. She knows she cant make up for that so turn it around and make justin feel guilty.

I say dont listen to a dam thing that siren in singing you via email and just politely reply with what lance said

[Prime]

Ouch! don't know how serious she is about killing herself. That Said, if she does or tries, you will never forgive yourself if you don't do something. That said, helping her and not keeping your current person in the loop could also backfire. maybe you should speak to her before you do anything further.

[Tribble]

A friend of mine says give her a blade and tell her you wanna watch. She reckons that if someone wants to kill themselves - they should shut up and do it.

I stand by my earlier post - tell someone else who knows her and then it becomes their problem.

[Prime]

A friend of mine says give her a blade and tell her you wanna watch. She reckons that if someone wants to kill themselves - they should shut up and do it.

I stand by my earlier post - tell someone else who knows her and then it becomes their problem.

That sounds like sheer ignorance talking. If someone wants to kill themselves, they clearly see no alternative way out of what ever is driving them to want to do it, they aren't doing it because it looks like a fun thing to do on a sunday afternoon because they are bored.

[Jonboy]

I will say something that I've said in a related thread. Somebody that THREATENS suicide often doesn't proceed with it, while somebody who's serious about it usually goes ahead without consulting anybody. I would get hold of a family member or loved one and tell them the sort of thing she's saying and then politely tell her that it's still over but there's no need to take her life and politely ask her to not contact you again.

[justinufo]

Everywhere i turn is like a dead end.She has a hold on me. .I cant avoid her.She even sent me pix of her cutting.Im not sure if a can post it here but shes screwed.I want to help but i dont want to get involved.I dont think its my responsibility.I trusted her and she messed up.I didnt do anything.My friends said i shouldnt make it my problem.Its hers and the guy that she was with.I shouldve ended this relationship ages ago.

[Monty]

She is trying to manipulate you into taking you back. Don't. Let her parents/best friend know so that they can get her professional help. Don't get involved in the situation, it will only end badly. And let your partner know.

[quote="Prime"
]

That sounds like sheer ignorance talking. If someone wants to kill themselves, they clearly see no alternative way out of what ever is driving them to want to do it, they aren't doing it because it looks like a fun thing to do on a sunday afternoon because they are bored. [/quote]

Prime: in general, people who ARE going to kill themselves don't advertise it. The people who tell people that they are going to kill themselves are generally looking for attention.


Were is Dr Jung when he is needed?

[Prime]

Everywhere i turn is like a dead end.She has a hold on me. .I cant avoid her.She even sent me pix of her cutting.Im not sure if a can post it here but shes screwed.I want to help but i dont want to get involved.I dont think its my responsibility.I trusted her and she messed up.I didnt do anything.My friends said i shouldnt make it my problem.Its hers and the guy that she was with.I shouldve ended this relationship ages ago.

this may be a Vicious thing to do but maybe contact a centre (mental institution) in Capetown and hand the problem over to them. Our equivalent is Tara. then its no longer your problem.

You do need to get away from her though, its emotional blackmail as it stands. And unfortuantely you are the sort of person who would actually care despite her hurting you so it makes it harder.

I have a very good friend who used to cut, its a really ugly situation to get into and out of. She has been clean for 4 or 5 years but it took medication and lots of therapy and self control to stop.

[Prime]

She is trying to manipulate you into taking you back. Don't. Let her parents/best friend know so that they can get her professional help. Don't get involved in the situation, it will only end badly. And let your partner know.

That sounds like sheer ignorance talking. If someone wants to kill themselves, they clearly see no alternative way out of what ever is driving them to want to do it, they aren't doing it because it looks like a fun thing to do on a sunday afternoon because they are bored.

Prime: in general, people who ARE going to kill themselves don't advertise it. The people who tell people that they are going to kill themselves are generally looking for attention.


Were is Dr Jung when he is needed?

Ya Dude in some cases, but i doubt this person is conciously going, "i need attention" or screwing other people around because its fun. or they may actually be wanting the help but not know how to get it.

[Monty]

Everywhere i turn is like a dead end.She has a hold on me. .I cant avoid her.She even sent me pix of her cutting.Im not sure if a can post it here but shes screwed.I want to help but i dont want to get involved.I dont think its my responsibility.I trusted her and she messed up.I didnt do anything.My friends said i shouldnt make it my problem.Its hers and the guy that she was with.I shouldve ended this relationship ages ago.

this may be a Vicious thing to do but maybe contact a centre (mental institution) in Capetown and hand the problem over to them. Our equivalent is Tara. then its no longer your problem.

You do need to get away from her though, its emotional blackmail as it stands. And unfortuantely you are the sort of person who would actually care despite her hurting you so it makes it harder.

I have a very good friend who used to cut, its a really ugly situation to get into and out of. She has been clean for 4 or 5 years but it took medication and lots of therapy and self control to stop.

Contacting an institution is probably not a good idea.. Contact family and they must get her to a psychologist or psychiatrist

[Jonboy]

Everywhere i turn is like a dead end.She has a hold on me. .I cant avoid her.She even sent me pix of her cutting.Im not sure if a can post it here but shes screwed.I want to help but i dont want to get involved.I dont think its my responsibility.I trusted her and she messed up.I didnt do anything.My friends said i shouldnt make it my problem.Its hers and the guy that she was with.I shouldve ended this relationship ages ago.

Sorry to hear that man, that's really not a pleasant situation to be caught up in, but you need to get out of it completely. Like I said, contact one of her loved ones and inform them of what is going on, then when you can be sure she's safe, tell her to nicely to not contact you again and if necessary, change your numbers and email. It's seriously not healthy for your state of mind to have that hanging over your head, and from what I gather from what you've posted, you will feel horrible if she did something.
This girl sounds like a real piece of work.

[Nab]

Oh wow. I probably shouldn't post here but I just got out of a sticky one with a cheater. Here's a link that might help you with your problem
https://www.pnponline.co.za/Product.asp ... 5&PageID=0

Justinufo, she is a textbook psycho ex girlfriend, be careful cos she seems like a stalker in the making and if you let her manipulate you she will continue to pollute your life. I also suspect her cheating was more to do with self esteem and power than anything which again points to some psychosis. All that garbage about your mistakes and being human and how she will sewage pipe if you love someone else is pure almonds and a desperate attempt to control you.

Get to her friends and family if she has, if not a little restraining order never hurt. Be #$^@ing careful with this little firecracker and if possible try get some professional advice cos she's going down a slippery slope.

If I broke some sort of protocol just posting in here lemme know but I couldn't help it on this one

[Monty]

Ya Dude in some cases, but i doubt this person is conciously going, "i need attention" or screwing other people around because its fun. or they may actually be wanting the help but not know how to get it.

The people who do this are generally cooked in the head. By telling people, they are looking for attention. They don't do it for fun.

[po10cy]

its just her desperation, she doesnt know what else to do so she thinks telling u to be with her or she will kill herself is the only way to get u back. tell a friend of hers or something about what she said. then block her and move on. cheaters shud live with what they do.

[Prime]

Ya Dude in some cases, but i doubt this person is conciously going, "i need attention" or screwing other people around because its fun. or they may actually be wanting the help but not know how to get it.

The people who do this are generally cooked in the head. By telling people, they are looking for attention. They don't do it for fun.

Am i cooked in the head? Dude, I went through a phase of this!

Edit:

Contacting an institution is probably not a good idea.. Contact family and they must get her to a psychologist or psychiatrist

Hence i used the term Vicious. Its Kinda a last resort.

[Monty]

Ya Dude in some cases, but i doubt this person is conciously going, "i need attention" or screwing other people around because its fun. or they may actually be wanting the help but not know how to get it.

The people who do this are generally cooked in the head. By telling people, they are looking for attention. They don't do it for fun.

Am i cooked in the head? Dude, I went through a phase of this!

You threatened suicide?

[Prime]

The people who do this are generally cooked in the head. By telling people, they are looking for attention. They don't do it for fun.

Am i cooked in the head? Dude, I went through a phase of this!

You threatened suicide?

Yep. I actually (although rather feebly attempted to slit my wrists) I also went through a phase of wanting to die and threatening to end it all on several occasions. One of my friends bore the brunt of most of it. I eventually got myself put on Anti-depressants and went to see a shrink, although i think the meds did more than the shrink ever did.

[americantsm1]

Here is the thing. If you do truly love some one it is possible to forgive, you never forget though. The thing is that can take time ... and first you have to go through everything else you have to feel to get there. The anger, disgust etc etc ...

It is very possible that she wants you to feel guilty, or possibly she wants a reaction of anger from you ... so she can help herself feel guilty. She may actually want to think that you hate her so it is easier for her to move on.

There are two ways you can go about this really you can ignore it or you can respond, either way if you do not want to be with her any more then thats that, decision made.

I would compile an email if it were me stating very clearly that I realise people are human and can make mistakes and that part of knowing that means that it is not always possible for someone to be trusted again once a level of trust has been violated on such an extreme level.

I would say something about the fact that if she is trying to get guilt from you or hatred so she can move on ... it is not going to happen because you are done giving her anything of yourself. She lost that ... you giving her anything ... she destroyed that herself.

I would wish her well and send her on her way.

But it has to be honest ... not snide ... you don't want her ACTUALLY going all suicidal

[Sojourn]

popcorn

[RuadRauFlessa]

I have to completely on a couple of points

1.

She is not actually your responsibility....

2. She needs to understand that she did this to herself.

3. You need to tell her the above.

4. She is a serious manipulative $%^$ and I would have dumped her ages ago.

5. You need to make peace with point number 1