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Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 14:00
by StarPhoenix
For some reason, the powers that be keep on giving me documents to check, despite my protestations that I don't know much about English Grammar, but that I sometimes have hunches about what feels wrong [not always accurate] and generally look these up on the internet, or ask someone clever for help.
The following has had me in a bit of a tizzy.
When it is highly probably that some accounts will prove uncollectible, escalating consumer debt can lead to service delivery backlogs.
What bothers me about the above example is that I cannot easily see the relationship between the two clauses [if that is the correct technical term]. It feels too vague or abstract. Who has incurred the debt-those whose accounts cannot be collected, or the entity responsible for service delivery?
Also....the sentence does something unexpected: usually one sees the following construction:
[Problem]conjunction[Solution], but here we seem to have [Problem preceded by padding]conjunction[consequence]
This has been driving me nuts over the last few days.
Would someone please explain to me what the example I gave is saying, and why it may feel wrong, but still be technically correct?
I think that what the author of this document wanted to say was: "Uncollectible accounts can give rise to escalating consumer debt and service delivery backlogs."
Am I just being irrational again? [Don't mind if you tell me that yes, I am being silly]
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 14:32
by SykomantiS
First of all, it should be highly probable, not highly probably...
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 14:37
by Bladerunner
StarPhoenix wrote:
When it is highly probably that some accounts will prove uncollectible, escalating consumer debt can lead to service delivery backlogs.
Try:
While it is very likely that some accounts will prove to be uncollectible, escalating consumer debt can lead to service delivery backlogs.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 14:54
by ADT
what happened to this thread
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 14:59
by D3PART3D
Bladerunner wrote:StarPhoenix wrote:
highly probable
very likely
Difference?
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 15:05
by Bladerunner
D3PART3D wrote:Bladerunner wrote:StarPhoenix wrote:
highly probable
very likely
Difference?
Meh. Tried to preserve the original wording and structure while improving the "flow" of the sentence.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 15:28
by StarPhoenix
Why not just "likely" instead of "highly probable"? Do we really need the extra word?
@D33: I don't understand why you started your sentence with "While".
/Imagines that Rusty has tons of work to do.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 08 Mar 2012, 15:55
by D3PART3D
That was Bladerunner, not me. I can't process that sentence but I'm not sure if it's because I don't understand the accounting or if it's because of the grammar. Yes, we need Rusty. Or Stuart.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 09 Mar 2012, 08:08
by rustypup
StarPhoenix wrote:I think that what the author of this document wanted to say was: "Uncollectible accounts can give rise to escalating consumer debt and service delivery backlogs."
i suspect that this would be the gist of what the babbling maniac was aiming at although the conditional is still required... the backlog is the result of rising bad debts which are triggered by... bad debts...
i imagine the context around this made for some
fascinating reading...
as an aside, i hate the "uncollectible".. it's prime corporate speak
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 09 Mar 2012, 08:25
by Tribble
I hate "refer back to". I get so annoyed when they use it on the radio or TV
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 09 Mar 2012, 15:19
by ACiD_Omega
Anthro wrote:jamin_za wrote:
I say if English is not your first language you are allowed to make a mess of it occasionally.
I envy you actually (since im still on the desktop support section)
In a sense when you only do 'server' support you generally speak to quite intelligent people, however the questions become
slightly harder..
This is Hardcore 64-bit Truth!
I Do both desktop and server support, this is a very painfull experience, because each time you go from one set to the other, you are reminded of the vast difference between the people you are exposed to.
English is a second language to me
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 09 Mar 2012, 15:50
by Stuart
ACiD_Omega wrote:
English is a second language to me
Yes, we know. We've met you.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 09 Mar 2012, 18:02
by Tribble
Mousey!
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 12 Mar 2012, 15:30
by StarPhoenix
Fresh meat/cheese for Rusty/Sturat:
The understanding gained from the meticulous analysis assists the Client to perform a variety of interventions such as
Wait.....what?
Doesn't "an intervention" take place when one country, or a group of countries interferes in the economic affairs of another "for their own good" or when someone with some medical condition receives aid likewise?
I would have gone with something along the lines of:
"The insight gained from such a meticulous analysis of their records has the following benefits..."
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 12 Mar 2012, 16:12
by rustypup
while i may, with the aid of some whiskey, give the use of "interventions" a free pass - "assists <..> to" is worthy of a death sentence
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 12 Mar 2012, 16:48
by StarPhoenix
I concur.
Most of our consultants would rather floss with steel wool than use "assist" [in everyday conversation] when "help" will suffice.
There are a number of other words they like. I may mention them once I remember what they are.
What does one call the act of using high-flown words when simpler ones would make one sound less pompous?
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 12 Mar 2012, 17:22
by KALSTER
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 13 Mar 2012, 08:01
by StarPhoenix
Thank you, Sir!
Here are a few of the words and expressions I come across and work that make me twitch:
Information is invariably described as "valuable information".
The word "client" is treated as if it were a proper noun. We don't need them getting ideas above their station, do we?
Why use "includes" when you can say "is inclusive of"?
"core"
"Key Success Factors"
"In short timeframes" is preferred to "quickly" or "promptly."
Almost everything is a "process"....
I image that they could extend "eat breakfast" to a sentence featuring the words "process" [and "team"] at least once.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 13 Mar 2012, 11:03
by StarPhoenix
The last time I returned my criticism of her work to the manager who writes some of the documents I check, she took umbrage, and insisted that I provide more balanced feedback by also pointing out what was good about the given article.
How might I go about giving her a more tactful report on the text I try to proofread for her?
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 13 Mar 2012, 12:16
by Tribble
I guess that she doesn't want you finding ang faults. Poor her.
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 13 Mar 2012, 13:19
by StarPhoenix
When pushed for a "positive" comment, I remarked that the layout and use of colour was more adventurous than in her earlier publications.....and that there appeared to be fewer mistakes, though there are some that she tends to repeat:
"improvise" instead of "improve" , and "simplistic" for "simple" for example.
Miss Malaprop, is that you?
Re: SP's Grammar thread
Posted: 25 Apr 2012, 09:05
by Tribble
Some Punographics
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
We`re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.