Jokes! - come have a laugh

THE_STIG · Post by **THE_STIG** » 23 Dec 2010, 14:00

Bwahahahahaha, just what I needed a set of LOL jokes

wizardofid · Post by **wizardofid** » 29 Dec 2010, 11:45

Dear Children

Mon and Dad is Santa Claus

Love,
wikileaks

KagutsuchiZA · Post by **KagutsuchiZA** » 03 Jan 2011, 13:57

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.

Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:

"I define myself to be on the outside."

KatrynKat · Post by **KatrynKat** » 03 Jan 2011, 14:07

and the sheep all lived happily ever after.....

RiaX · Post by **RiaX** » 06 Jan 2011, 00:27

skunkymunky · Post by **skunkymunky** » 14 Jan 2011, 16:31

Yesterday while out for a drink with my mate I asked him why he kept pouring beer onto his hand.
He replied. 'I'm trying to get my date drunk.'

cyberfox271 · Post by **cyberfox271** » 17 Jan 2011, 16:22

I think he's already drunk enough for the two of them...

skunkymunky · Post by **skunkymunky** » 20 Jan 2011, 16:26

I said to my daughter "I bet you I could win at poker"
She said "But I know you are good at poker"
I said "No, I ran of money last night when I was playing with the guys, so I bet you, Dave will be here in an hour"

Rajiv · Post by **Rajiv** » 20 Jan 2011, 17:17

THE_STIG · Post by **THE_STIG** » 20 Jan 2011, 21:45

Why does Chuck Noris sleep with the light on? because the dark is scared of him.

Chuck Noris does not use jumper cables to jump-start his car, he uses his nipples.

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 21 Jan 2011, 08:53

skunkymunky wrote:I said to my daughter "I bet you I could win at poker"
She said "But I know you are good at poker"
I said "No, I ran of money last night when I was playing with the guys, so I bet you, Dave will be here in an hour"

It took me a few mins to get this one

skunkymunky · Post by **skunkymunky** » 21 Jan 2011, 09:09

I've just published a book on preserving the rainforest and what we can do as a human race to help protect it.
It's over 2000 pages long.

lancelot · Post by **lancelot** » 21 Jan 2011, 12:32

Aboriginal Tracker Somewhere between Karratha and Onslow

An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End

On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, under the sea.

The Americans were incredulous.

Later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine..

He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air

The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine.

"Jacky," said the tour guide,"what are you tracking and what are you listening for?"

The aborigine replied,

Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971 Baliant Ute. It's a red one.. The left pront tyre is bald. The pront end is out of whack, and him got bloody dents in every panel..

There are 9 black fellas in the back, all drinking warm sherry.

There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat

The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.

"how do you know all that?," asked one.

The Aborigine replied......... I fell out off the thing about half an hour ago!".

_Terry_ · Post by **_Terry_** » 22 Jan 2011, 21:21

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.

Rajiv · Post by **Rajiv** » 22 Jan 2011, 21:54

I don't get it - explain.

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 23 Jan 2011, 09:06

Bwahahahahahaha I do.

Post by **Monty** » 23 Jan 2011, 09:11

Rajiv wrote:I don't get it - explain.

DeathPing · Post by **DeathPing** » 23 Jan 2011, 14:07

Bwahahahahaha! roflmao /me scratches his not-eyes.

scratching != as nice as rubbing.

THE_STIG · Post by **THE_STIG** » 23 Jan 2011, 19:38

Rajiv wrote:I don't get it - explain.

your mind is too innocent.

DeathPing · Post by **DeathPing** » 23 Jan 2011, 21:01

THE_STIG wrote:
Rajiv wrote:I don't get it - explain.
your mind is too innocent.

Yah! May the force be with you, when you rub your eyes.

doo_much · Post by **doo_much** » 24 Jan 2011, 07:21

Tribble wrote:Bwahahahahahaha I do.

You have balls?

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 24 Jan 2011, 09:53

doo_much wrote:
Tribble wrote:Bwahahahahahaha I do.
You have balls?

Yes - eye-balls. But then I was merely stating the fact that I got the joke

cyberfox271 · Post by **cyberfox271** » 24 Jan 2011, 16:31

This thread never fails to amuse...

RiaX · Post by **RiaX** » 24 Jan 2011, 16:42

Rajiv wrote:I don't get it - explain.

doh

cyberfox271 · Post by **cyberfox271** » 24 Jan 2011, 16:43

epic fail.

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