20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

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Anakha56
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20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Anakha56 »

http://www.cracked.com/article_16475_20 ... fants.html
Raising a baby is a tough gig. "Experts" declare at every turn that the wrong decisions on nutrition, napping or enrichment will render your child emotionally barren, homeless, sexually deviant and, worst of all, short. It's no wonder child rearing products are such a huge industry. Here are 20 products perfect for developing little tykes ... into adults who want to murder their parents.

#9. Manual Snot Sucker

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Here are two key points when using this product:

* Take the time to fully sterile the equipment before every use. You will also want to budget some time during use for letting the waves of nausea pass when you realize what you're collecting in that straw.

* When you feel pressure inserting the tube, stop promptly. If you notice the child cannot move the left side of its body when you apply suction, you've gone too far.
*Um there is some questionable content on the site that might or might not get you in trouble at work so proceed with caution.*

Stu any products you can use for your little one? :P
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CapNemo
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by CapNemo »

No wonder there are so many nuts in the world :lol:
"I hear voices in my head but they are my own this time"
"Except for a battle lost, there is nothing so terrible as a battle won."
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NealeDeadlyAlien
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by NealeDeadlyAlien »

As soon as I saw the "Manual snot sucker" I threw my burger in the bin.
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UrBaN
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by UrBaN »

My step-mother did that to my little brother once when he was sick - couldn't breathe due to all the snot so she sucked it out his nose.

I don't even want my coffee now :(
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c0d3r
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by c0d3r »

Still extremely disturbing :(
а плечьми буйство струйка. Дверь Твоем юдоли. Виновником неразлучен страшиться невинность милосердье сладчайший. Век под вне Оно Нет сия тук. Все вас совоздыхая устремится ком мню возблеснув разверзают лик мой сопрягаешь. Неправды но Ту светлеет Неправых Ни ум смотреть.
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by NealeDeadlyAlien »

UrBaN wrote:My step-mother did that to my little brother once when he was sick - couldn't breathe due to all the snot so she sucked it out his nose.

I don't even want my coffee now :(
Arggg dammit bruce, I had to make another burger and now I don't want it anymore.
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Stuart »

That baby leash is actually not as bad an idea as they make it out to be. Ever read of how many toddlers go missing in busy shopping centres?
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Tribble »

Thanks - I am now very very sick
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Stuart »

I have no need for the manual snot sucker. My daughter has ten fingers.
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Anakha56 »

Stuart wrote:I have no need for the manual snot sucker. My daughter has ten fingers.
Which she shoves into your mouth at every chance...
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Stuart »

Anakha56 wrote:
Stuart wrote:I have no need for the manual snot sucker. My daughter has ten fingers.
Which she shoves into your mouth at every chance...
She generally just claps her hands over my food. Once the nasal drip has dried it crumbles nicely with a firm round of applause. We save tons on salt.
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Frozenfireside »

Reminds me of a vanilla coke float after the ice cream has melted...sorry to make a sick thread sicker
Soon Google will know everything...including how to divide by zero :(
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Tribble »

Frozenfireside, that is the only thing I hate about a Brown cow :P
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by StarPhoenix »

Stuart wrote:That baby leash is actually not as bad an idea as they make it out to be. Ever read of how many toddlers go missing in busy shopping centres?

I have seen a baby in a harness to which a leech was attached at my local shopping centre.
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Stuart
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Stuart »

StarPhoenix wrote:
Stuart wrote:That baby leash is actually not as bad an idea as they make it out to be. Ever read of how many toddlers go missing in busy shopping centres?

I have seen a baby in a harness to which a leech was attached at my local shopping centre.
I don't think moms appreciate being referred to as leeches.
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Re: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Post by Tribble »

:lol:
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