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Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 17:01
by Anakha56
DAE_JA_VOO wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 11:34 Ended up meeting a girl who I married, was with for 8 years, and that ended in divorce a year ago actually. So that's been a bit of a rollercoaster too.
Wow, sorry to hear that man :(. FYI I still have a letter from one of the weddings you did that I need to get to you, really need to get in touch again.

Let's see... Got married at some point, depression fitted in as well with night shift and overtime, got new job still doing the IT thing but debating about goat farming as it is probably easier :P. Erm near death experience due to rupturing appendix fits in there somewhere as well. Seeing a psychologist for a whole bunch of reasons and that's about it.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 17:44
by Tribble
Anakha56 wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 17:01
DAE_JA_VOO wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 11:34 Ended up meeting a girl who I married, was with for 8 years, and that ended in divorce a year ago actually. So that's been a bit of a rollercoaster too.
Wow, sorry to hear that man :(. FYI I still have a letter from one of the weddings you did that I need to get to you, really need to get in touch again.

Let's see... Got married at some point, depression fitted in as well with night shift and overtime, got new job still doing the IT thing but debating about goat farming as it is probably easier :P. Erm near death experience due to rupturing appendix fits in there somewhere as well. Seeing a psychologist for a whole bunch of reasons and that's about it.
Wow that is heavy but glad you are getting the help you need. Too many people ignore their issues then everyone is sorry in the end.

Goat farming does sound awesome. Some place beautiful with no people.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
by KALSTER
Not too much has happened until a few years ago.

Was still working as manager of a DVD rental franchise that was slowly dying until I was getting R0 to R500 pm for the last 18 months or so of it's existence. I was finally released from it mid last year.

Started getting big into online gaming, Battlefield 4 specifically. In 2015 my clan had three teams at the Telkom national champs at DGC end of the year and I was captain of the worst one. My team got destroyed, but it was loads of fun. Made a new clan with some team mates etc and we had a team at DGC end of 2016 and 2017, but I wasn't on it. I had pretty much reached the limits of my limited talent. I still game casually, mostly playing Battlefield 5, PUBG, COD Warzone and CSGO.

My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing. Currently living with my mother. She won't make it on her own.

But in Nov 2017 I finally found a proper job as an Admin officer and now representative for a group funeral policy Administrator and have been here ever since. I don't earn that much, but I am comfortable. I do work my bottom off though and regularly work hours into the next day and even work through the night sometimes, but I am thankful that I have employment at least. I have reached a good level of indispensability at least and I save them a lot of money in IT costs lol.

I have no girlfriend, wife or children to support, so that helps. :)

Still an atheist, but much less of an anti-religious zealot. :D I do get upset when people blindly follow people like Trump though....

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
by Spicy-McHaggis
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 18:45
by KALSTER
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
Oh man that terrible. Very sorry to hear. :(

In the end it was the same for my dad.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 18:48
by Spicy-McHaggis
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:45
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
Oh man that terrible. Very sorry to hear. :(

In the end it was the same for my dad.
:sad: you know its going to happen but when it does its a complete shock and surprise 😔

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 18:48
by Tribble
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09 Not too much has happened until a few years ago.

Was still working as manager of a DVD rental franchise that was slowly dying until I was getting R0 to R500 pm for the last 18 months or so of it's existence. I was finally released from it mid last year.

Started getting big into online gaming, Battlefield 4 specifically. In 2015 my clan had three teams at the Telkom national champs at DGC end of the year and I was captain of the worst one. My team got destroyed, but it was loads of fun. Made a new clan with some team mates etc and we had a team at DGC end of 2016 and 2017, but I wasn't on it. I had pretty much reached the limits of my limited talent. I still game casually, mostly playing Battlefield 5, PUBG, COD Warzone and CSGO.

My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing. Currently living with my mother. She won't make it on her own.

But in Nov 2017 I finally found a proper job as an Admin officer and now representative for a group funeral policy Administrator and have been here ever since. I don't earn that much, but I am comfortable. I do work my bottom off though and regularly work hours into the next day and even work through the night sometimes, but I am thankful that I have employment at least. I have reached a good level of indispensability at least and I save them a lot of money in IT costs lol.

I have no girlfriend, wife or children to support, so that helps. :)

Still an atheist, but much less of an anti-religious zealot. :D I do get upset when people blindly follow people like Trump though....
Glad you found your feet and are comfortable. Sorry about your father. Just found out my mother has COPD and really hoping that we can find something that will make her feel more comfortable. She is already so sore from coughing all the time. Has tried all sorts of treatments to move the phlegm but it remains. I am really worried for her with this virus doing the rounds.

I have the same feelings about Trump but my boys like him. So we have many discussions and arguments. :lol:

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 18:50
by Tribble
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
I am so sorry to hear this too. Seems you two know what my mother is in for. I believe there is no cure.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 19:09
by KALSTER
Tribble wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:50
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
I am so sorry to hear this too. Seems you two know what my mother is in for. I believe there is no cure.
There are different types. My father had emphysema. Our terrible doctors in Welkom could have helped him for longer, but they ignored his heart. So I would say keep an eye on her Oxygen levels (you get small Oxymeters) and make sure her heart is taken care of and they must keep an eye on her blood PH levels as well. The heart enlarges from the effort and apart from having trouble taking in oxygen, the lungs have trouble getting rid of CO2. Make sure she eats. If her appetite takes a dive, there are problems.

I wish you the best with this Tribbs. It is not easy seeing loved ones suffer.

For me I didn't understand what my father was going through from his perspective in terms of coming to the end of his life. I wanted him to fight more and I got upset with him a few times. I regret all of it so much now. But I tried my best under the circumstances. Our doctor was so terrible and had to ask him to feed him intravenously.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 19:11
by KALSTER
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:48
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:45
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
Oh man that terrible. Very sorry to hear. :(

In the end it was the same for my dad.
:sad: you know its going to happen but when it does its a complete shock and surprise 😔
I was hopeful until the end. It was a very big shock.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 19:18
by Tribble
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 19:09
Tribble wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:50
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
I am so sorry to hear this too. Seems you two know what my mother is in for. I believe there is no cure.
There are different types. My father had emphysema. Our terrible doctors in Welkom could have helped him for longer, but they ignored his heart. So I would say keep an eye on her Oxygen levels (you get small Oxymeters) and make sure her heart is taken care of and they must keep an eye on her blood PH levels as well. The heart enlarges from the effort and apart from having trouble taking in oxygen, the lungs have trouble getting rid of CO2. Make sure she eats. If her appetite takes a dive, there are problems.

I wish you the best with this Tribbs. It is not easy seeing loved ones suffer.

For me I didn't understand what my father was going through from his perspective in terms of coming to the end of his life. I wanted him to fight more and I got upset with him a few times. I regret all of it so much now. But I tried my best under the circumstances. Our doctor was so terrible and had to ask him to feed him intravenously.
IT is really frustrating when a doctor doesn't do their jobs properly because the person is old. My mom is on the South Coast so I am not anywhere near enough to see if she is ok. We talk often but not sure she will tell me everything. Thanks - will make a point of asking.

They have a frail care facility on prem so hopefully she will go to them if she is feeling that she isn't getting enough oxygen.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 19:29
by KALSTER
Tribble wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 19:18
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 19:09
Tribble wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:50
Spicy-McHaggis wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:40
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09
My father passed away beginning 2017 from COPD, which was a terrible thing.
Thats terrible indeed... mine passed away 19/3/2020 from acut heart failure due to copd :( :cry:
I am so sorry to hear this too. Seems you two know what my mother is in for. I believe there is no cure.
There are different types. My father had emphysema. Our terrible doctors in Welkom could have helped him for longer, but they ignored his heart. So I would say keep an eye on her Oxygen levels (you get small Oxymeters) and make sure her heart is taken care of and they must keep an eye on her blood PH levels as well. The heart enlarges from the effort and apart from having trouble taking in oxygen, the lungs have trouble getting rid of CO2. Make sure she eats. If her appetite takes a dive, there are problems.

I wish you the best with this Tribbs. It is not easy seeing loved ones suffer.

For me I didn't understand what my father was going through from his perspective in terms of coming to the end of his life. I wanted him to fight more and I got upset with him a few times. I regret all of it so much now. But I tried my best under the circumstances. Our doctor was so terrible and had to ask him to feed him intravenously.
IT is really frustrating when a doctor doesn't do their jobs properly because the person is old. My mom is on the South Coast so I am not anywhere near enough to see if she is ok. We talk often but not sure she will tell me everything. Thanks - will make a point of asking.

They have a frail care facility on prem so hopefully she will go to them if she is feeling that she isn't getting enough oxygen.
He passed before his 67th birthday... :x

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 19:30
by Tribble
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 19:29 He passed before his 67th birthday... :x
Oh I am so sorry - that is really young. My mother will be 77 this year.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:25
by Stuart
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09 Still an atheist, but much less of an anti-religious zealot. :D I do get upset when people blindly follow people like Trump though....
Oi, don't automatically tie religion to Trump fanboism! Trust me, there are a whole lot of us non-atheists who really dislike the man.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:26
by Stuart
I guess my dad died, too, since we were last active here. And my father-in-law.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:41
by wizardofid
Stuart wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 20:26 I guess my dad died, too, since we were last active here. And my father-in-law.
About 2 months back my Dad phoned me up after 30 years to make contact with me.Took a few days to process and finally told him, after 30 years take a hike, wasn't an easy choice, nor do I regret it.With mom that turned 70 this week and wouldnt want it any other way.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:45
by Stuart
wizardofid wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 20:41
Stuart wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 20:26 I guess my dad died, too, since we were last active here. And my father-in-law.
About 2 months back my Dad phoned me up after 30 years to make contact with me.Took a few days to process and finally told him, after 30 years take a hike, wasn't an easy choice, nor do I regret it.With mom that turned 70 this week and wouldnt want it any other way.
Wow, that's hectic.

I have a friend who's dad did the same about a year back, and they've formed quite a friendly relationship. Cautious, but friendly.

I don't envy the decision you had to make.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:54
by wizardofid
Was easy enough, put it this way he knew where I stayed for over 20 years, and made zero effort to contact me, nor did he ever pay child support more then a few times, as a direct result I had to move schools because we couldn't afford the specialty art school I went to any more.I have a deadbeat dad.He actually made it pretty easy.

Guess I will become a cat person in old age, perfect for hunting down your little critters for disrupting the internet

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:55
by wizardofid
stupid internet

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:55
by wizardofid
stupid internet

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 20:56
by Stuart
wizardofid wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 20:54 Was easy enough, put it this way he knew where I stayed for over 20 years, and made zero effort to contact me, nor did he ever pay child support more then a few times, as a direct result I had to move schools because we couldn't afford the specialty art school I went to any more.I have a deadbeat dad.He actually made it pretty easy.

Guess I will become a cat person in old age, perfect for hunting down your little critters for disrupting the internet
Wow, that's so sad. I can't even fathom doing something like that to my kids.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 21:08
by Ron2K
Where do I even begin?

First off: the Lurker found a Lurkette. Amy and I met around the same time that I stepped down from running this place, and got married in January 2016. Turned out to be a mini-PCF meet: DJT and freeloader were there (as best man and groomsman respectively), Prime was there (and going out with a mutual friend of ours at the time), as was Anakha. TWe also flew Ett down as our photographer, and to say that he did an amazing job is an understatement of note: friends and family still consider those the best wedding photos that they've ever seen. (Ett: you have my full permission to post your favourite ones!)

I left Webafrica in late 2013. The company had earlier been through a massive restructure that saw at least a third of the staff being retrenched (including Jeff, and I've sadly lost all contact with him after that). I was retained (just!), but I wasn't happy with the direction that things were heading and left of my own accord. Ended up at a small dev shop in the Southern Suburbs that turned out to be an absolutely fantastic place to work for, and I'd still be there were it not for our decision to emigrate to New Zealand.

Which brings me to that. Most definitely the hardest thing that either of us has done in our lives. Much of it is down to NZ's immigration policies: the pass mark to get a Resident Visa is high enough nowadays that around 80-90% of applicants can't hit it without current employment in NZ. And then, the government won't give you a Work Visa without an offer of employment, but companies won't give you an offer of employment without a Work Visa. I had to try and break that recursive loop somehow, so that ended up with me flying over in September 2018 on a three month Visitor Visa and interviewing like crazy. After countless interviews and rejections, I landed an absolutely fantastic position around 10 days before the Visitor Visa was due to expire. Work Visa application went in immediately, and once that was granted, Amy was able to apply for a special Work Visa as the partner of a Work Visa holder. It took until February 2019 until we were finally reunited. The hardest part was definitely the time spent apart from each other; the two of us are inseparable. I'll always be indebted to DJT for the way he'd constantly check up on her to make sure she was doing OK.

The Resident Visas were granted in May 2019, and we're happily settled now. We're living in the Silverstream suburb of Upper Hutt, which in itself is a commuter city for Wellington (27 km rail commute for us). I'm working for a company that writes software to help detect breast cancer: if "saving people's lives" isn't a motivation for getting into the office in -5°C wintery mornings, I don't know what is. Amy's bounced between various reception/admin jobs but has finally seemed to find one she enjoys.

So yes, the Lurker still lurks, but when everyone else is sleeping -- which is quite possibly a far scarier proposition!

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 21:20
by Stuart
Ron2K wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 21:08 We're living in the Silverstream suburb of Upper Hutt
i have a missionary friend who's from upper hutt. he occasionally posts photos and stuff on fb. seems like a rather nice place.

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 21:23
by Ron2K
Stuart wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 21:20 i have a missionary friend who's from upper hutt. he occasionally posts photos and stuff on fb. seems like a rather nice place.
I'll pop some photos of my own in the Photography thread later today. ;)

Re: So it's been a LONG time. How have your lives changed?

Posted: 28 Mar 2020, 22:02
by KALSTER
Stuart wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 20:25
KALSTER wrote: 28 Mar 2020, 18:09 Still an atheist, but much less of an anti-religious zealot. :D I do get upset when people blindly follow people like Trump though....
Oi, don't automatically tie religion to Trump fanboism! Trust me, there are a whole lot of us non-atheists who really dislike the man.
Good on you! It is just a strong trend that is difficult to dismiss.

Sorry about your parents as well. :(