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White House Can’t Afford Its Shapeshifting Alien Reptile Guards

By Robert Beckhusen

A shapeshifting reptile from outer space guards President Obama, according to a new conspiracy video. Yet according to the White House, the extraterrestrial heft behind Obama’s protection detail is a mere allegation — and one that congressionally mandated budget cuts would have to ax, anyway.

If you believe the video above, recently posted to YouTube, the White House deployed at least one reptile guard as recently as this month. The narrator, using a text-to-speech program, suggests a bald-headed G-Man protecting Obama during his March 4 speech to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee “could be a shapeshifter alien humanoid working for the powers that be, caught in a high-definition video during an event of the Zionist cabal.”

Could be. It’s certainly fodder for Tinfoil Tuesday, Danger Room’s occasional look at the internet’s most insane conspiracy theories.

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StarBound wrote:Snapes on a plain: Somethins Slitherin!

That or they got a fox hound unit full of Snakes. They should just watch out for the ones that ain't Solid. They tend to kill each other with heart attacks.