Bates VS ...
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Bates VS ...
What a dream I was having...
It was about cars and it makes sense because I had watched the F1 Quali Saturday morning after 3 hours of sleep and played F1 2011 for the good part of the day. It was a good day...
Then my dream came to a crashing end and I woke up to having a cat on my chest. So my immediate thought was that the other cat was doing his rounds elsewhere in the house then I heard glass tinker...
Crept out of bed with the stealthiness of a drunk ninja, walked down the passage, put one foot in the dining room and ... Swore like a little girl! Something flew off the counter at a great speed and hid behind the rolling kitchen tray. I stealthily crept up switching lights on as I went and as I put the kitchen light on it, it ran past me and into the bedroom causing even more swearing and still not knowing what it was. Damn this thing is fast!
My swearing alerted the other half, she switched the light on and screamed "Monkey!!!". No it was not a monkey, it was to small and to fast because as she screamed it ran past me again and into the lounge behind my couch. Already having the lights on I opened the front door, barricaded the path to the out of the lounge, his only exit the front door. I crept up to the couch and gently but firmly pulled it toward myself, then the monster ran out toward the door and ... veered off behind the TV wall unit. This was not going to be a easy task...
So I then tried creating a tunnel to lead him out from behind the TV wall unit and out the front door. Positioned myself on a smaller seat and had the other half prod it with a curtain rail till it came out and I would get a picture. Two things happened at this point one I got the photo two it beelined toward my couch and I moved faster than Lewis Hamiltons Mclaren. It climbed up the other couch and hid behind it. This thing is good...
Rearranged the furniture to make yet another funnel toward the door and it was at this point I realized it had deployed its secret weapon at the first couch, a steamy pile of mess... Taking a deep breath I moved the final piece of barricade out and it ran right ... behind the TV unit again. That barricade failed...
This time I blocked every nook and cranny and made myself stand on the couch so he would not run up it. The only escape was the door. The other half prodded it again with curtain rail and this time it ran out the house hopefully never to be seen again.
Ladies and Gentleman I present to you: Steamy! Wanted to call it something else but then it would have been racist and Stiggy would frothing at the mouth...
So who would win Bates or Steamy?
/If the ramblings do not make sense its because a couple of beers helped in the making of this story...
It was about cars and it makes sense because I had watched the F1 Quali Saturday morning after 3 hours of sleep and played F1 2011 for the good part of the day. It was a good day...
Then my dream came to a crashing end and I woke up to having a cat on my chest. So my immediate thought was that the other cat was doing his rounds elsewhere in the house then I heard glass tinker...
Crept out of bed with the stealthiness of a drunk ninja, walked down the passage, put one foot in the dining room and ... Swore like a little girl! Something flew off the counter at a great speed and hid behind the rolling kitchen tray. I stealthily crept up switching lights on as I went and as I put the kitchen light on it, it ran past me and into the bedroom causing even more swearing and still not knowing what it was. Damn this thing is fast!
My swearing alerted the other half, she switched the light on and screamed "Monkey!!!". No it was not a monkey, it was to small and to fast because as she screamed it ran past me again and into the lounge behind my couch. Already having the lights on I opened the front door, barricaded the path to the out of the lounge, his only exit the front door. I crept up to the couch and gently but firmly pulled it toward myself, then the monster ran out toward the door and ... veered off behind the TV wall unit. This was not going to be a easy task...
So I then tried creating a tunnel to lead him out from behind the TV wall unit and out the front door. Positioned myself on a smaller seat and had the other half prod it with a curtain rail till it came out and I would get a picture. Two things happened at this point one I got the photo two it beelined toward my couch and I moved faster than Lewis Hamiltons Mclaren. It climbed up the other couch and hid behind it. This thing is good...
Rearranged the furniture to make yet another funnel toward the door and it was at this point I realized it had deployed its secret weapon at the first couch, a steamy pile of mess... Taking a deep breath I moved the final piece of barricade out and it ran right ... behind the TV unit again. That barricade failed...
This time I blocked every nook and cranny and made myself stand on the couch so he would not run up it. The only escape was the door. The other half prodded it again with curtain rail and this time it ran out the house hopefully never to be seen again.
Ladies and Gentleman I present to you: Steamy! Wanted to call it something else but then it would have been racist and Stiggy would frothing at the mouth...
So who would win Bates or Steamy?
/If the ramblings do not make sense its because a couple of beers helped in the making of this story...
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Re: Bates VS ...
hehehe...
he's cute... but fast... like a Ferrari...
he's cute... but fast... like a Ferrari...
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- Prime
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Re: Bates VS ...
I'm more concerned that Steamy is semi transparent in the photo
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Re: Bates VS ...
Thats how fast the bugger moves. Could not get a proper shot of him in motion...
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- Tribble
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Re: Bates VS ...
Oh that is brilliant. Not for you of course - but what a laugh to read. Strange that he came in to your house. Must have been hungry
- rustypup
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Re: Bates VS ...
.... home invasion dassie! (also very strange that it actually came indoors... probably rabid... )
those things have one of the creepiest screams...
those things have one of the creepiest screams...
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Re: Bates VS ...
Love the reference to Lewis Hamilton's McLaren - as the dassie broke a lot of stuff and left a mess behind...
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Re: Bates VS ...
I'm no lover of animal cruelty, but after the third failed attempt to get this animal out of the house, I would have switched from a rescue mission to search and destroy.
Trust me - once it realises you mean it grievous bodily harm it will find that open door chop-chop
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Re: Bates VS ...
I bet the name you wanted to give it had something to do with a McLaren driverAnakha56 wrote:Ladies and Gentleman I present to you: Steamy! Wanted to call it something else but then it would have been racist and Stiggy would frothing at the mouth...
But Hamilton made no mess this weekendRon2K wrote:Love the reference to Lewis Hamilton's McLaren - as the dassie broke a lot of stuff and left a mess behind...
You mean fast like a Red BullKatrynKat wrote:hehehe...
he's cute... but fast... like a Ferrari...
Re: Bates VS ...
Bates would own it. Hands down.
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Re: Bates VS ...
That is if they don't De-Bates it.Sojourn wrote:Bates would own it. Hands down.