need out... what do?

[Ark]

To cut a very long story short, I need out of a bad relationship, but I have no balls

How do you guys feel about ending a relationship over mxit?

To add some point to difficulty level, she's in the middle of writing exams



What do?

[jee]

Ark, over mxit or via sms is just plain the coward's way.

Do it in person.
If you are worried about her writing exams, give it time until then and tell her its over.
Why do we always wait so long when we find out a relationship is not working?


If you can't do either, don't be surprised when the next relationship is a bad one....
however, there is never a good time to end a relationship for the other partner.

[doo_much]

Ark...

What she said.

Sterkte. It ain't ever easy.

[jee]

nope, never easy...
but what you do lives with YOU -
it molds you and makes you a man
or a despicable piece of donkey excrement...

[Ark]

Easier said than done.. I have tried the in person method before.. The moment I see tears, I buckle and take her back. I dunno why, but I'm too much of a softy.

Since I have to do in person and my lack of a scrotum makes it so much harder, any way I can make her break up with me?

[Prime]

nope, never easy...
but what you do lives with YOU -
it molds you and makes you a man
or a despicable piece of donkey excrement...

+1

[WiK1d]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldne ... -road.html

Put that on her way home from University (I hope)

[jee]

Ark huns, you will have to tell yourself " I REALLY want out"
I know how difficult it is when there are tears - and i know how much damage one does if one stays... not only to yourself but your partner.

Let me put it to you... there IS not easy way to break up with someone. Never ever has been, and never ever will be.
However, if you cannot do it in person.... i'm not so sure if i have an answer for your there - not one that i believe in.

All i can say is that as a woman, when a man does not have the courage to tell me in my face that he does not want me anymore i loose all respect for him - and often that loss of respect will go over into the male population in general. I know how terribly terribly hurt i was when i heard from someone else that my relationship was over....
I suppose it cuts both ways - men have feelings too

[Monty]

uh. Tell her it is over. And then walk away.

Maybe have a friend waiting unseen in the background for moral support.

Just grow a pair btw. They'll be useful for other activities in the future, so now is as good a time as any to grow them.

[Tribble]

It will not be easier if you make it take longer. But during exams is not a good idea. If she does badly - everyone will blame you. Wait until the last one is done an then do it in person. I hated breaking up but it is worse to string them along (done that too)

Good luck. It is never easy to end something - I should know.

[Ark]

Thanks guys.. Much appreciated

[Ark]

Scuse the triple post, stupid phone

[Anthro]

All good, fixed up
Just be calm and collected about it and let her go mate

[Nuke]

I never understood the Mxit culture. How you can discuss serious matters in sms-speak is totally beyond me. If you have to say something that is serious, you tell someone the basics in person and give them a letter or even an email that explains the detail so that there can be no miscommunication.

[Monty]

I never understood the Mxit culture. How you can discuss serious matters in sms-speak is totally beyond me. If you have to say something that is serious, you tell someone the basics in person and give them a letter or even an email that explains the detail so that there can be no miscommunication.

Not everyone who uses mxit uses sms speak.

I use mxit a lot, and the only things that could remotely be considered sms speak that i use are acronyms such as wtf, afaik and such. And 90% of my mxit contacts also use proper english and avoid sms speak like the plague

[Prime]

I never understood the Mxit culture. How you can discuss serious matters in sms-speak is totally beyond me. If you have to say something that is serious, you tell someone the basics in person and give them a letter or even an email that explains the detail so that there can be no miscommunication.

I love sweeping statements, almost as much as I hate sarcasm.

Not everyone who uses Mxit, tlks lyk ths. I certainly don't, and nor do any of my contacts.

Now put your cellphone down and go get some fresh air, before the microwaves nuke any more of your braincells.

[SykomantiS]

It's the kind of thing you just don't do over the phone, web or any other form of communication. EVER. It's a face to face thing.

Ark, over mxit or via sms is just plain the coward's way.

Do it in person.
If you are worried about her writing exams, give it time until then and tell her its over.
Why do we always wait so long when we find out a relationship is not working?


If you can't do either, don't be surprised when the next relationship is a bad one....
however, there is never a good time to end a relationship for the other partner.

uh. Tell her it is over. And then walk away.

Maybe have a friend waiting unseen in the background for moral support.

Just grow a pair btw. They'll be useful for other activities in the future, so now is as good a time as any to grow them.

To my mind, that would be best, and quickest. But it's never easy.

If you want this bad enough, you'll find a way.
Good luck.

[Prime]

It's the kind of thing you just don't do over the phone, web or any other form of communication. EVER. It's a face to face thing.

Unless you are doing long distance, but thats a whole other kettle of fish.

[Nuke]

I never understood the Mxit culture. How you can discuss serious matters in sms-speak is totally beyond me. If you have to say something that is serious, you tell someone the basics in person and give them a letter or even an email that explains the detail so that there can be no miscommunication.

I love sweeping statements, almost as much as I hate sarcasm.

Not everyone who uses Mxit, tlks lyk ths. I certainly don't, and nor do any of my contacts.

Now put your cellphone down and go get some fresh air, before the microwaves nuke any more of your braincells.

Hmm guess that people I see on Mxit it a whole different bunch then. Even people I work with I sometimes wonder about, because trying to read a message they show me on Mxit is a nightmare.

[Prime]

I never understood the Mxit culture. How you can discuss serious matters in sms-speak is totally beyond me. If you have to say something that is serious, you tell someone the basics in person and give them a letter or even an email that explains the detail so that there can be no miscommunication.

I love sweeping statements, almost as much as I hate sarcasm.

Not everyone who uses Mxit, tlks lyk ths. I certainly don't, and nor do any of my contacts.

Now put your cellphone down and go get some fresh air, before the microwaves nuke any more of your braincells.

Hmm guess that people I see on Mxit it a whole different bunch then. Even people I work with I sometimes wonder about, because trying to read a message they show me on Mxit is a nightmare.

You don't need a full qwerty keyboard to type properly.

I won't respond to or read any message that doesnt resemble English or Afrikaans. I will actually delete or block anyone who sends me garbage. I apply the same rules to FB.

[Hellfury]

+1 Monty

Just because it's an IM, doesn't mean you are forced to type/speak like a retard

[Hellfury]

It's the kind of thing you just don't do over the phone, web or any other form of communication. EVER. It's a face to face thing.

Unless you are doing long distance, but thats a whole other kettle of fish.

Yeah. I "dated" a PCF forum girl for 2 years, long distance. That's even worse

[DAE_JA_VOO]

I'm with jee.

I don't want to sound nasty, Ark, but in this situation, you'll just have to grow a pair and do it the painful way The end of a relationship is never an easy thing I know what it's like to be the guy who ends a relationship. It's never an easy thing. I've actually never been through that without crying, myself.

You absolutely can NOT do it the mxit way. That's just not an option. If you have any respect at all, you'll do it in person. When she gets upset, tell her you're sorry. DON'T take her back.

Sorry you have to go through this dude

[Tribble]

I took the cowards way out once - never again. I was in grade 11 and he was in the air-force. I did not want to break up during basics as he was having a tough time of it. Then he was sent to the border and I felt sorry for him again and left it. I left it for over 6 months. It was easy - I hardly ever saw him. I then wrote a letter. Huge mistake. You think you have worded it right, done the best not to hurt him - but the letter is what does the hurting. For months I had him ranging between being angry with me and begging me to give him another chance. It dragged on for ages. He would rock up drunk and bang on the door. My dad threatened to call the cops. Yes - he was unstable and that was one of the reasons I wanted to call it off. But I think the way I handled the breakup made it worse.

Be honest - but kind. And let her know there is no chance of a do-over. Don't use the usual lines like "it's not you, it's me". And good luck - I am glad I am not in your shoes.

[Jonboy]

If you're mature enough to be in a relationship then you're mature enough to be honest and upfront with the person. And as horrible as this sounds, maybe just hang in there until after exams - I don't feel it's fair she should fail because of an emotional situation because your feelings for her have altered.