Neale's News 24. Events in the spam thread

[Stuart]

Well apparently Jamin dropped his 120 gig drive and lost all his shemale midget pron.

Dude, jamin has that stuff backed up on 37 different places. Some local, some remote.

erm, how exactly do you know this?

Well ... uh ... you see ...

...

...

...

c0d3r told me! She has one of the remote backups at home.

[c0d3r]

Well ... uh ... you see ...

...

...

...

c0d3r told me! She has one of the remote backups at home.

Stuart is just jealous because jamin didn't trust him with a backup. That 5th series, the 19th episode WOW

[Stuart]

Well ... uh ... you see ...

...

...

...

c0d3r told me! She has one of the remote backups at home.

Stuart is just jealous because jamin didn't trust him with a backup. That 5th series, the 19th episode WOW

Tends ti give you a click in the shoulder, doesn't it?

[Anakha56]

Stu what about the thread resurrection/insurrection and Fire getting his bottom toasted?

[Stuart]

Stu what about the thread resurrection/insurrection and Fire getting his bottom toasted?

Why? What newsworthy feat of n00bishness did Firestrm accomplish this time?

[Anakha56]

About tempting the mods/admins with resurrecting threads and getting himself banned.

[Stuart]

Well, it's old news, but let's see what happens

[Anakha56]

Well, it's old news, but let's see what happens

You wanted news you idjit!

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

Welcome back to Spam News 24 for this special bulletin

I am your host Pink bunny.

We have recieved shocking news that a Centurion Office building is on fire which a certain spam member *names not mentioned* is believe to work there.

We send in make believe journalist Crimson Wade to investigate this matter.

Crimson, what seems to be happening down in Middle Earth

*Well Pink bunny, this site is unbearable to watch as many of the office employees are injured, busy dying or are already dead.
It appears that a certain spam member is an employee herself.

However it seems that the cause of the fire was burnt toast which our beloved spam member happened to be on lunch at that time, could this be a connection?

Crimson, what seems to be happening at the moment?

Well Pink Bunny, the fire is out of control and I see people jumping out almost looking like flaming torches as you can see for yourself.



Please note! Viewer discretion is advised

We are still on the look out for the culprit *Tribble you know who you are, one would hope*

If anyone could give us the whereabouts of our main suspect, please contact 01890-we really won't do anything about it, so call now.

Well thank you for that unexcited piece of journalism Crimson we will send your dismissal in the post

More news to follow sometime this year.

I'm Pink Bunny for the Spam News, Have a good evening.

[Tribble]

I did not burn Momentum down - those are lies - lies I tell ya! And I have not eaten any toast - it was a tramazini!

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

We have Cameras

[Tribble]

We have Cameras

And you have photoshop so now one will believe those are the real deal

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

Hmm arg busted once again...

[CapNemo]

Ah but he has witnesses as well never mind they weren't actually on scene

[Firestrm_ZA]

Well, it's old news, but let's see what happens

You wanted news you idjit!

nice to see stu is as lazy as his mouse.....

Cmon neale moar news!!

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

I'll get around to it.

[Stuart]

SPAM NEWS 24

Days of Our Lives in Your Backyard: All YOU Need to Know about Life in Spamville
by Stuart, whose persistent requests for permanent employment at Newsweek and TIME magazines have met with repeated court orders and threats of legal action

An air of excitement pervaded the quiet suburban streets of Spamville in late July as Lady jee's troubled daughter stumbled into town. Clearly drunk, and muttering barely discernible phrases not suitable for publication in our family-friendly newspaper, she was immediately rushed to the local hospital, where she was treated for shock and what turned out to be claw and bite marks from a rabid mongoose.

It later unfolded that her disturbing appearance was the result of a social engagement gone awry. Details are sketchy, but the full story reportedly involves whiskey, orange Smarties and an assortment of homosexual women delighting in spurning the advances of Spamville cassanova, Don Juan de HuNtingGoof.

Lady jee's daughter, who has asked to remain unnamed (a request which we will honour for fear of shaming poor KatrynKat) has recovered well from her ordeal, and has become an active member of Spamville society. This has called forth varied responses, from fear of usurpation (First Lady Tribble), to concerns about prioritising schoolwork (Mother jee), to an assortment of creative wedding proposals, and the possibility of early adoption of at least three troubled youths. So famed have these events become that they are generally considered the stuff of legend on family-friendly international social networking sites such a Facebook, Myspace and 4chan.

When asked her opinion on the historical basis of some of these tales, First Lady Tribble could only ask, "Are Freudian slips usually made on purpose?"

First Lady Tribble has meanwhile kept herself busy in recent days discussing her fascinating views on life after death. The scientific fringe of Spamville has watched with increasing awe as the debate between Ms. Tribble and the admittedly eccentric KALSTER has unfolded. After several hours of ferocious debate, KALSTER could only exclaim, "This is confusing!" and watch in horror as Ms. Tribble swallowed several cups of dental mouthwash. Forum jester jamin_za drowned his confusion by immersing himself in StarCraft 2, before joining the line of creepy trenchcoat men at the local clinic, begging for a prostrate examination. Meanwhile, well-known drama llama StarBound became so vociferously angered at Ms. Tribble's superior debating skills that he earned himself a well-deserved Custom Forum Title.

In cuisine news, the local Five Star dining hall, Ogame, has continued to attract customers, although some observers have noted that the turnover of guests is rather poor. Ogamers have no reason to complain about this, but certain conspiracy theorists are concerned about the real possibility of Ogamers plotting a coup and overthrowing Spamville's long-established government.

In Missing Person's news, rumours are rife that Judas was spotted wandering aimlessly through the streets of Spamville late last week. There has still been no news on the disappearances of former Miss Auckland c0d3r and reigning Miss Multiverse Ama. The latter disapperance has been loosely linked to the escape of a highly dangerous viverrine mammal by the name of Bates. Cash rewards have been offered for any information leading to the return of either fashion idol, and the distraught owners of Bates have offered to double any reward offered for the return of Miss Multiverse should someone assist them in the safe return of their beloved pet. (Investigations are still underway to determine the relation--if any--of Bates to the mongoose in KatrynKat's sordid tale.)

All factual and grammatical errors in the above report should be put down to the nursing staff at A Certain Netcare Hospital in the Greater Alberton area, whose concern for the wellbeing of patients is rivalled only by that of Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

[KatrynKat]

excellent!!!

[Stuart]

Why, thank you. Can I PM you banking details for donations? Editor suckered me again.

[SykomantiS]

Bravo Mouse!

[hamin_aus]

Stop typing the phrase "prostate examination" unless you mean business!
I may have to take that phrase out of my heuristic forum post scanner if this continues...

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

Stu! Does that DVD Camcorder work nicely?

[jee]

lbwhahahahahahahaha Aaah Rattie - thanks for making my day!

[Stuart]

Stu! Does that DVD Camcorder work nicely?

Don't even pretend that you actually sent it. And don't blame postal theft again.

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

Stu! Does that DVD Camcorder work nicely?

Don't even pretend that you actually sent it. And don't blame postal theft again.

Don't like old technology - make an excuse. <--- should be a News Ad.

Well done!!! Here is your monopoly money I promised.