Neale's News 24. Events in the spam thread

[Tribble]

Oh mousey - you had me rolling. Well done - you definitely have untapped potential. You should apply to Noseweek - or PCFormat

[jee]

pcf? you want all the scandal to be in public? O.o

[Tribble]

It would entice more people to come here to find out who the people are.

[Stuart]

Good lawd, you know how it would drive their sales down? They'd have to resort to bikini-clad cover models or something sleazy like that to sell their magazines.

[DeathPing]

Good lawd, you know how it would drive their sales down? They'd have to resort to bikini-clad cover models or something sleazy like that to sell their magazines.

AGAIN?! And my wife only allowed me to buy PCF because those scantily clad ladies were... cofcof... relocated to some house for poor young ladies that cannot afford much clothes... bless them, the little angels! *looks over shoulder before clicking... .... ... ... ... ... darn! ... ... ... Submit

/me navigates away from this thread quickly

[Tribble]

Oooh - a man who is afraid of his lady. Good

@mousey - you know what? On second thoughts that would be a bad idea to write about what we do - but you should write. You sure do have talent.

[Synthesis]

I know where Ama & C0d3R are.... and KatrynKat will join soon.... Mwahahahaha

[CapNemo]

So write an article on it for us

[Stuart]

Synthesis applied for a job at SN24 once, but we found his articles (and accompanying pictures) more suitable for FHM, or possibly Playboy.

[Tribble]

And where do they disappear to Synth? The land of the BF?

[Synthesis]

And where do they disappear to Synth? The land of the BF?

More like the land of the BFG.

And yes, that is what they call me.

[Tribble]

Bwahahahahahaha so you have them locked away in your tower - conveniently placed for your amusement?

[KatrynKat]

I know where Ama & C0d3R are.... and KatrynKat will join soon.... Mwahahahaha

i aint going anywhere!!!!

[Synthesis]

They're not locked away, they choose to be here... Hey girls, say hi

Ama, "HI"
C0d3r, "HI"

You see!!!

[KatrynKat]

ahuh

[Tribble]

Yes Synth. *Walks away slowly*

[Synthesis]

I am grinning.

[Tribble]

I bet you are - they put a smile on your dial.

[KatrynKat]

[NealeDeadlyAlien]

Synthesis applied for a job at SN24 once, but we found his articles (and accompanying pictures) more suitable for FHM, or possibly Playboy.

Well, in a way, thats the decent way of saying it.

[Stuart]

SPAM NEWS 24

Horror Road Rage Attack on Johannesburg Freeway Leaves 46 Injured
by Stuart, whose brief foray into the world of mainstream media ended abruptly when reports about two further Matrix sequels were discovered to be somewhat unfounded

Graphic photographs of tragic scenes on the M1 highway (south) just outside of Sandton have been flooding into our offices this morning. On scene reports are sketchy, but a terrified eleven year old who claimed to be hiding inside an overturned 18-wheeler, told the horrifying tale of a "raging catwoman" taking all manner of weighty implements to screaming motorists. The young girl was unfortunately left-handed, and making the phone calls from her mother's iPhone 4, which resulted in several dropped calls throughout the report, but she did manage to send through some first-hand photographs suitable for publication.

The trouble began shortly before 9:00 AM when the little girl was sitting in the passenger seat of her mother's car removing scotch tape residue from the bottom corner of the cellular telephone. She recalls hearing a "strange hissing" followed by an outburst of expletives "suited only for rap concerts and Australians." Glancing over her left shoulder she vaguely remembers "a white car . . . I think it was a Renault . . . and there was a very cat-like looking woman screaming at the drivers in front of her." This following exclusive photograph was taken on the scene.



The camera flash at the time of taking the above photograph appears to have driven Catwoman over the proverbial edge. (Unconfirmed reports suggest that the woman may have screamed, "I am Tribble, and THIS . . . IS . . . SANDTOOOOOOOOOON!!!" shortly before her terrifying rampage.) Ripping through her seatbelt with her bare(d) teeth, she reportedly leaped through the window of her car and began assaulting anyone within reach. At her mother's horrified advice, the little girl climbed out of the car and ran for cover. Shortly before reaching safety, she glanced over her shoulder and witnessed Catwoman, with a deranged scream of something about "the flip side," lifting her mother's vehicle with her left hand and sending it soaring through the air to the grass embankment on the side of the highway.



The ten-minute rampage, which left at least 46 injured and road damage totaling hundreds of thousands of rands, came to an abrupt halt when an elderly woman offered the road rager what appeared to be a Greek salad and some form of alcoholic beverage. She was later arrested for drunken driving and was jailed when police discovered more than a dozen ignored court summonses in her name.



In an exclusive interview with undercover reporter iRon2K she was quoted as saying, "I do not want to appear in any articles. . . . f [SN24] agrees to leave my name out of it - I will support your call for a new news bulletin all the way."

Despite last minute pleas by the incarcerated Cat, SN24 is committed to reporting all factual and fictional information to the general public, in the interests of (mis)informing scientists and conspiracy theorists alike. The people have a right to know!

[Hman]

LOL

[Tribble]

There were (credible) witnesses? iRon2K - you promised! Mousey!!!!!! How could you tarnish my good name this way?!


/OT Bwahaqhahahahahahahaha that is brilliant mousey (Stuart). I have not laughed that hard in ages. Thank you and don't you dare do it again

[Anakha56]

Brilliant Mouse! It has been to long since the last installment. Shows you woman are not meant for driving especially those who have feline traits...

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

[KatrynKat]

awesome.....

@Anakha: and to who are you referring to.....