Are there such things as Good parents?

[Tribble]

Some picture

Then I am glad to say - I have failed!

[Interfan]

Just show them love. That to me is the most important aspect about being a good parent. If you show them you love them they will respect your decisions even if they might disagree with it. After they have calmed down deep down they will respect your decisions.

[Tribble]

Just show them love. That to me is the most important aspect about being a good parent. If you show them you love them they will respect your decisions even if they might disagree with it. After they have calmed down deep down they will respect your decisions.

Thanks - that gives me hope

[Retnev]

I don't know who wrote this, but I found it on http://www.jtsoftware.co.za/sheldean/ and I know some of the ladies on the eblockwatch site ( http://www.eblockwatch.co.za/index.php? ... sing&id=66 ) mailed it to other people

Beautiful Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes.

Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison.
She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

[Tribble]

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

[/quote]

That is brilliant. That is exactly the type of things I say to my kids. My fav. saying is I don't care if you think I am mean - it is for the best.

At least there is hope that they will understand when they have kids.

Thanks - you made my night!!

[hamin_aus]

Woman pleads guilty to beheading girl

A mentally troubled woman accused of drowning her 6-year-old daughter, cutting off her head and throwing the remains off a bridge has pleaded guilty to first-degree murder.

Under a plea agreement accepted Wednesday, prosecutors will recommend a 23-year prison term for Samara Laverne Spann, 32. Sentencing was set for May 18.

Spann has undergone several mental evaluations since she was charged in June 2005 with killing her daughter, Kyeimah, whose remains were never found.

Spann told investigators she was using drugs heavily at the time of the killing, officials have said.

Spann's father, Gary Spann, told The Sacramento Bee in 2005 his daughter routinely called the girl a "devil child," and she belonged to a cult that worshipped the late rapper Tupac Shakur as the reincarnation of the 16th century political philosopher Machiavelli.

She also was upset because her daughter kept getting out of bed and interrupting a telephone conversation, according to the court filings.

Spann told investigators she drowned the girl in the bathtub of their home south of Seattle on Dec. 31, 2004, or Jan. 1, 2005, after seeking advice from someone who was interested in the occult, prosecutors said in court papers.

On Jan. 2, Spann bought a chain, a padlock and an ax at a hardware store, then cut off the girl's head, wrapped the chain about the body, put the girl's remains into a plastic bin and threw it off a bridge somewhere between King County and the Oregon border, prosecutors wrote.

About a month later, Spann, her 14-year-old daughter and an infant son moved to the Sacramento, Calif., area.

Acting on a tip from California Child Protective Services, authorities in Washington began searching for Spann and her daughter in February 2005. She was arrested that June in Sacramento for investigation of child abuse after authorities said she slapped the 14-year-old. Afterward, she talked to authorities about the death of her younger daughter.

Sounds about as reasonable as any of the major religions today...

[Tribble]

I am beginning to think that there aren't. After this last week - I know that I am not one! Boy there are times that I wish I wasn't!

[markman]

A very proud moment in my life occured when my son said to me,

" Dad, thanks for teaching me discipline, thanks for knowing when to say no when I didn't."

[Tribble]

A very proud moment in my life occured when my son said to me,

" Dad, thanks for teaching me discipline, thanks for knowing when to say no when I didn't."

Those are the moments we hope and pray for. Tell me, was getting him to do as told, difficult?

[markman]

Hey Tribble,Yes,very difficult(these are not democratic discussions going on here,this is a friggen Dictatorship.)

Always is with kids..you know the...

" I'm not cold when their lips are blue and their teeth are chattering."

But it pays off.

Need help,shout.

[Tribble]

Hey Tribble,Yes,very difficult(these are not democratic discussions going on here,this is a friggen Dictatorship.)

Always is with kids..you know the...

" I'm not cold when their lips are blue and their teeth are chattering."

But it pays off.

Need help,shout.

I know the situation intimately. Thanks, I will call on you. My daughter is the one I have those kind of arguments with. She is 7. My 11 year old is starting to exercise his rights as an individual but still complies. It is a Dictatorship and I am the Dictator!

[zerubabel]

Yes - the annoying Tribble is posting again! Bear with me. I need to know something.

Those of you - still living at home - your attention please. Tell me what you need from a good parent. I get the feeling that I am not like "traditional" mothers and I am worried that this is going to mess up my kids.

What should or shouldn't mothers do? What embarrasses you? What do they do right - and when do you wish they weren't your folks?

Must I start saving up for psychiatric fees already - so that someone else can undo the damage I do?

Please tell me so I can fix things before it is too late. Listening to some of you and your relationships with your folks, makes me worried about mine.

Love them no matter what. And put them before anything else.
And be strict to some point. Don't let them hang out with those bad friends going to night clubs when they are 16.. we all know what kids do there...

Do what you feel is right even if they might hate you for it, because in the end they will grow up decent people and will appreciate all you've done for them.
Remember, children never appreciate, until they have kids of their own.
Don't spoil them too much, or let them do things you know is wrong just so they might smile at you in the morning.

[Tribble]

Love them no matter what. And put them before anything else.
And be strict to some point. Don't let them hang out with those bad friends going to night clubs when they are 16.. we all know what kids do there...

Do what you feel is right even if they might hate you for it, because in the end they will grow up decent people and will appreciate all you've done for them.
Remember, children never appreciate, until they have kids of their own.
Don't spoil them too much, or let them do things you know is wrong just so they might smile at you in the morning.

Thank you. Difficult but sound advice. Already do most but do still spoil them too much. About night clubs - yes we do know what they do there. The problem is when the kids friends think that you are cool and your own don't. Don't know if it has happened yet but it will. Has to. Part of growing up.

I feel sorry for my kids. When I was punished as a kid it was over in 5 mins. Hiding or jacks as we called them hurt but were over quickly. When I need to discipline them, it lasts a day or a weekend. Grounding, no computer, no friends are our only options. I wonder if it does more psychological damage? Not that I want to hit them - it doesn't really work. Just want something that is over quickly.

[Moses]

Make them eat a whole habanero.

[Tribble]

Make them eat a whole habanero.

Cruel! Hee hee. And then they develop a taste for them and I have to learn to make hot foods

[zerubabel]

Love them no matter what. And put them before anything else.
And be strict to some point. Don't let them hang out with those bad friends going to night clubs when they are 16.. we all know what kids do there...

Do what you feel is right even if they might hate you for it, because in the end they will grow up decent people and will appreciate all you've done for them.
Remember, children never appreciate, until they have kids of their own.
Don't spoil them too much, or let them do things you know is wrong just so they might smile at you in the morning.

Thank you. Difficult but sound advice. Already do most but do still spoil them too much. About night clubs - yes we do know what they do there. The problem is when the kids friends think that you are cool and your own don't. Don't know if it has happened yet but it will. Has to. Part of growing up.

I feel sorry for my kids. When I was punished as a kid it was over in 5 mins. Hiding or jacks as we called them hurt but were over quickly. When I need to discipline them, it lasts a day or a weekend. Grounding, no computer, no friends are our only options. I wonder if it does more psychological damage? Not that I want to hit them - it doesn't really work. Just want something that is over quickly.

I know many people who have never smoked a cigarette, never got "smashed" (piss drunk), never tried drugs, don't like clubbing.
Sure they weren't the "coolest" people in school, but roles generally reverse once you get a degree and work. :>
What does being the jock at school bring you. Sure you had all the girls and all the admiration. but afterwards you get yourself a "Cluckin' Bell" hat, and ask people if they want supersize.

You cannot control them to the point that you know they won't do such things, but you can build a very open relationship with them, and teach them why such things are bad and not even worth "trying out".
Make them feel that it's okay to be "uncool" in school, because when they grow up they will be worth so much more in society and will more easily find happiness, wether in work, marriage, or other spheres of life.

I find that this new hollywood-style of disciplining kids is the most ****** way there is. You might as well let them grow up with gangsters if you are going to give them "time-outs" and the like. Dr Phil is a moron.
Just talk to them openly about things, and get their trust to the point that they will tell you when their friends are experimenting with sex or drugs, and that they seek your advice and praise for them doing the right thing.
I cannot tell you which way of disciplining children is the best, each to their own.
Just follow your motherly insticts perhaps

[Tribble]

@zerubabel

Wow. Such insight. I am going to copy thins and give it to my son. It bothers him that he is uncool. I agree that Dr Phil gets things wrong - our kids are different. I was lucky and never tried out the things that harm but can't know if they won't. As kids, I would say they know better. As adults, I don't know. Will just have to trust them.

[zerubabel]

@zerubabel

Wow. Such insight. I am going to copy thins and give it to my son. It bothers him that he is uncool. I agree that Dr Phil gets things wrong - our kids are different. I was lucky and never tried out the things that harm but can't know if they won't. As kids, I would say they know better. As adults, I don't know. Will just have to trust them.

[Road_Kill]

Love them no matter what. And put them before anything else.
And be strict to some point. Don't let them hang out with those bad friends going to night clubs when they are 16.. we all know what kids do there...

Do what you feel is right even if they might hate you for it, because in the end they will grow up decent people and will appreciate all you've done for them.
Remember, children never appreciate, until they have kids of their own.
Don't spoil them too much, or let them do things you know is wrong just so they might smile at you in the morning.

Thank you. Difficult but sound advice. Already do most but do still spoil them too much. About night clubs - yes we do know what they do there. The problem is when the kids friends think that you are cool and your own don't. Don't know if it has happened yet but it will. Has to. Part of growing up.

I feel sorry for my kids. When I was punished as a kid it was over in 5 mins. Hiding or jacks as we called them hurt but were over quickly. When I need to discipline them, it lasts a day or a weekend. Grounding, no computer, no friends are our only options. I wonder if it does more psychological damage? Not that I want to hit them - it doesn't really work. Just want something that is over quickly.

I know many people who have never smoked a cigarette, never got "smashed" (piss drunk), never tried drugs, don't like clubbing.
Sure they weren't the "coolest" people in school, but roles generally reverse once you get a degree and work. :>
What does being the jock at school bring you. Sure you had all the girls and all the admiration. but afterwards you get yourself a "Cluckin' Bell" hat, and ask people if they want supersize.

You cannot control them to the point that you know they won't do such things, but you can build a very open relationship with them, and teach them why such things are bad and not even worth "trying out".
Make them feel that it's okay to be "uncool" in school, because when they grow up they will be worth so much more in society and will more easily find happiness, wether in work, marriage, or other spheres of life.

I find that this new hollywood-style of disciplining kids is the most **** way there is. You might as well let them grow up with gangsters if you are going to give them "time-outs" and the like. Dr Phil is a moron.
Just talk to them openly about things, and get their trust to the point that they will tell you when their friends are experimenting with sex or drugs, and that they seek your advice and praise for them doing the right thing.
I cannot tell you which way of disciplining children is the best, each to their own.
Just follow your motherly insticts perhaps

I had a good relationship with my Mom, and I trusted her, and her I, but there were still things I never told her. Reason being, part of growing up is doing stuff on your own and dealing with it on your own. My mom never knew that I was getting drunk and smoking weed at age 15. And guess what, I didn't turn up all screwed up, instead Im studying at University, never get in trouble and help my mom out at home.

I don't think that a child should ever be hit, ever, no matter what! Dr Phil has a point, time-outs do work, cause it's aimed at 3-5 year olds. His other methods do make sense.

I know a lot of jocks who are doing very well, it is a huge stereotype that jocks go no where, I know many of them who are really cool people, granted, many of them are a$$holes, but not all of them. I also know many geeks who are not doing well at all, 20, working at shoprite and has a child, and he had very strict parents, compared to my parents who let me sort of figure life out by myself. Yes, many times I did make mistakes, but I learned from it, and have grown up a lot faster because of it.

[markman]

Is Dr Phil married or divorced?

[Road_Kill]

Is Dr Phil married or divorced?

Married, why?

[Tribble]

@Roadkill

I also kept lots away from my folks - not as bad as you though . One of the hardest things is letting your kids have their own thoughts, feelings - being people in their own right but I know how important it is.

I agree with your thoughts of jocks and geeks. There is no recipe that guarantees how they will turn out.

[D3PART3D]

I say: Buy a copy of Stephen Covey's "The Seven Habits of highly effective people".

It will work wonders.

[Tribble]

I say: Buy a copy of Stephen Covey's "The Seven Habits of highly effective people".

It will work wonders.

Ah but then I have to admit that I need to grow up. Yes - I probably should. Just got how to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk. Very useful stuff that. The arguments I can handle - it is not knowing if something is wrong that bothers me. If I mess them up, fine - if they get messed up without me knowing, unforgivable.