Love?

[Tribble]

D3PART3D, you are supposed to love yourself. It is the basis we use when loving others. You cannot love another until you love yourself. So go ahead - self love is required and recommended. (And fun)

[Zana]

huns, then you must do what i did -= i have been without a telephone and net connection from the 15th, and spent the whole x-mas weekend totally secluded (anyone who phoned heard the phone ring and thought i was out... and worried:( ) I live in a forest, and we had storms and mist for most of the time.

..

Hmm looks like neverland ! ((hugs)), there has been storms and mists here too and when there are storms, remember to plug out your phones, modems, computers, etc..

[Screeper]

So here's an update for anyone who's interested or for those of you who write the scripts for Soapies.

3 weeks ago I get a call from the young lady who previously gave me the big elbow out the door.
Seems she's sorry and the new guy is not as perfect as she thought etc. and is it possible we could get back together again? We could go to counselling etc..
Cue: Screeper the gullible...
Seeing as I still love her, I took her back, with a happiness in my heart that is indescribable (altho the brain was firing warning shots it seems in my case .. heart > brain ).
Spend three or four evenings together etc. you all know the drill. Then exactly one week later I get a call.... she thinks maybe she wants to go back to the 'other' guy and she's really sorry but she was confused last week... NO KIDDING !?!?!

*sigh* Life is certainly not very kind sometimes.

When I see her smile and know that it is no longer for me, that is what hurts the most

There's this place in me where your finger prints still rest...your whispers still softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me

[Tribble]

you make me want to cry. Girls can be so cruel. I am so sorry she did that to you - that is not what love is about.

[justinufo]

Screeper, dude.I feel your pain.Thats what love does to you .Had the same experience recently.Got back together 3 times.Still hurts but i have to go on.Each day is painfull but yeah.Nothing you can do ey?You feel useless.Worthless.Used.The third time we broke up happened to me today.I ended it this time.She loves another.I seriously wanna tjank now but ill be strong.My hart is shattered.I love her very much.I even saw a future for us but she didnt.From now on ill be carefull and not lose myself that easily again.Cause it hurts like hell!Take care dude.

[Tribble]

Love is wonderful - but relationships suck

[Screeper]

Screeper, dude.I feel your pain.Thats what love does to you .Had the same experience recently.Got back together 3 times.Still hurts but i have to go on.Each day is painfull but yeah.Nothing you can do ey?You feel useless.Worthless.Used.The third time we broke up happened to me today.I ended it this time.She loves another.I seriously wanna tjank now but ill be strong.My hart is shattered.I love her very much.I even saw a future for us but she didn't.From now on ill be carefull and not lose myself that easily again.Cause it hurts like hell!Take care dude.

I am really sorry to hear that justinufo - I wish I could give you some advice that would help... but I haven't found a way to take away the pain, not even the slightest bit.

The rumour around these threads is that time is the healer, so I guess only time will tell if that is true...

[Monty]

Screeper, dude.I feel your pain.Thats what love does to you .Had the same experience recently.Got back together 3 times.Still hurts but i have to go on.Each day is painfull but yeah.Nothing you can do ey?You feel useless.Worthless.Used.The third time we broke up happened to me today.I ended it this time.She loves another.I seriously wanna tjank now but ill be strong.My hart is shattered.I love her very much.I even saw a future for us but she didn't.From now on ill be carefull and not lose myself that easily again.Cause it hurts like hell!Take care dude.

I am really sorry to hear that justinufo - I wish I could give you some advice that would help... but I haven't found a way to take away the pain, not even the slightest bit.

The rumour around these threads is that time is the healer, so I guess only time will tell if that is true...

There is a way to mask the pain. Keep yourself busy! And try not to think. But the true healer is time, and living your life for yourself!

[Screeper]

There is a way to mask the pain. Keep yourself busy! And try not to think. But the true healer is time, and living your life for yourself!

During the day is easier to keep busy (work, sport etc.) but just before bed, and as I wake up in the morning where the crushing feeling really seems to appear.
And dreams... ug! How do you stop dreaming about someone?!!? If I could invent a pill for that problem i'd be rich !

[Monty]

There is a way to mask the pain. Keep yourself busy! And try not to think. But the true healer is time, and living your life for yourself!

During the day is easier to keep busy (work, sport etc.) but just before bed, and as I wake up in the morning where the crushing feeling really seems to appear.
And dreams... ug! How do you stop dreaming about someone?!!? If I could invent a pill for that problem i'd be rich !

You've found the reason why I prefer nightmares to dreams... My dreams kill me kindly.

[ryanrich]

Sorry to hear Screeper and justinufo! Time heals all wounds. Too bad it takes so damn long though...

That split second when you first wake up in the morning is the worst for me, terrilbe feeling...

[justinufo]

Yeah.This morning felt so unreal.I wish it was a dream.I cant even eat and sleep.I find it hard to sleep but this just makes it worse.Dont feel like anything really. .This is the first time that i really gave my all for nothing.

[D3PART3D]

Screeper, no no no no!

I'm going to be a little harsh now, but I think you need some tough love. Behaving like this:

Seeing as I still love her, I took her back

isn't very smart! You make it sound as if it was a decision you made... O RLY? or did she decide this? be honest. I can guarantee one thing: behaving that way is going to make sure that you'll never get her back. (unless she's really ugly and desperate.) People are motivated to stay in or leave relationships by how much good they get out of them. That's common sense. By letting her decide the rules of how the relationship works, what you're doing is actually affirming that you're the one with the most to lose here - and if that's the case, you're actually saying that you haven't got anything to offer. Why would she want to be in a relationship with you then?

I don't know how you're going to get her back, but what I do know is that for you to stand any chance whatsoever, you're going to have to shift your focus from what you've lost and all the negativity to making yourself happy.

People who can make themselves happy = people who know how to make others happy.

Then son, you will have something to offer. Make sure that you realise that the loss was mutual. No girl wants to be with a crybaby that sits in a corner all day. And who knows, maybe you'll be the one wanting to explore other options, once you realise that there are other options.

[Tribble]

Perhaps I am wrong - but I believe that if someone left you once, they can and probably will leave you again. There was a reason for the breakup in the first place and that doesn't magically go away. You need to fix what was broken before you can even think of doing it all over again. I would seriously resist her if she comes back again - the human heart can only take so much stomping on before it decides never again. And love is not something you should give up on.

[Screeper]

Ryan - yup the few seconds as you wake up and your mind blinks into 'awake mode' is when you get caught off guard and the feelings really hit hard.

D3part3d - harsh but very fair

Tribs - you are correct I'm sad to say. Rather reserve my heart for someone who deserves it.

Trying to win her back is not an option for me anymore.
Getting over her is.
She will never get me back, my lesson on that front has been learnt (twice when once should have been enough )

justinufo - I know your pain

[rustypup]

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

most of this nonsense is about learning from your mistakes... whatever you imagine to be painful now is nothing compared to the real thing. when you lose a life partner who has greeted your every waking moment with a smile for 40 years, then you will know pain...

until then, stop being emo and move on... and, whatever you do, don't write poems about it!

[Screeper]

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

Posted a couple of pages back, do try to keep up..

most of this nonsense is about learning from your mistakes...

Of that there is no doubt, although it isn't nonsense, if it was it would be easy to sweep the pain out into the gutter.

whatever you imagine to be painful now is nothing compared to the real thing. when you lose a life partner who has greeted your every waking moment with a smile for 40 years, then you will know pain...

Ah yes, the old "My pain is greater than your pain" comment.

[rustypup]

the old "My pain is greater than your pain"

not my pain, but i've seen it often enough to register that the 'pain' resulting from infatuation pales in comparison to the real thing...

if anything, it should be embraced. it means you're still capable of processing it normally.

in short, you learned something new about the opposite sex... take it with a pinch of salt and move on... there's is absolutely nothing of value to be gained from obsessing over it...

[Screeper]

not my pain, but i've seen it often enough to register that the 'pain' resulting from infatuation pales in comparison to the real thing...

Yes, I guessed you didn't mean yourself.
However what you define as the 'real thing' could be open to debate.

in short, you learned something new about the opposite sex...

Correct.

take it with a pinch of salt and move on...

Far easier said than done.

there's is absolutely nothing of value to be gained from obsessing over it...

Agreed.

[rustypup]

what you define as the 'real thing' could be open to debate.

volunteer on lifeline for a while... get some perspective...

[Screeper]

volunteer on lifeline for a while... get some perspective...

Indeed, that could be a rather leveling experience.

Are we still talking about love here?

[rustypup]

Are we still talking about love here?

i should hope so...

[Anakha56]

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

whatever you imagine to be painful now is nothing compared to the real thing. when you lose a life partner who has greeted your every waking moment with a smile for 40 years, then you will know pain...

+infinity

I have not lived long enough to even begin to experience this however the pain and suffering I see my mom go through every morning, afternoon and evening is heart breaking...

/exits thread...

[Zana]

snipped
/exits thread...

I never understand with peoplke in general that they dump one for the other, why cant they keep both ? Why do people always stick to one and only one? Are there hearts so small, that one preson can only tightly speeze into there heart and no room for others?

[Anakha56]

There is a difference between what you are thinking and what rusty and I are talking about.

What you are going on about is Polygamy and in some cultures it is allowed and in others it is taboo. For example Zumu is going onto his 6th wife I think its is, and in the Western culture that is frowned on. It is a mind set some people can accept it others cannot.

What rusty and I are talking about is death and that pain is beyond description, nothing can compare to it.

My question to you is this: Why are you quoting me?