Are there such things as Good parents?

[Tribble]

Just dont be strick...strick parents suck IMO
My mother has never been strick...she always and will still let me sleep over at friends during the week(which most parent thinks is ridiculous) WHY?

I dunno what else really..hehe...scared I might say something and end up with my head chopped off

Just do what my mother did with me!

Also you dont let them listen to CDs with explicit content? If they like 11 or older id say it will be fine! But let them choose the music.

Also let them have fun during school says.etc try not to have a planned afternoon for when they come home.etc I HATE that. Doesnt work with me either! Just ask them if they have done their homework.etc and tell them if they dont do it they will get in trouble.etc also if they need help...help them ofcource! lol

Also trends at school (like branded clothes.etc) try get them branded clothes if most people at school wear it.etc

umm, dunno what else to say.

?? I am rather strict but also too forgiving. I can't let my 11 year old listen to all the music I do - I won't even let him read the same books or watch the same movies. I do help with homework which I think sucks as I hated it when I went to school! As for sleeping over during the week - no way! Weekends are ok though My kids have branded clothes and don't actually care. Granny buys it for them.

Thanks for the input. It helps.

[Tribble]

Set standards...not boundries the one counteracts the other.....
be honest all the time...answer their questions honestly
build a relationship based on mutual respect
involve yourself in their activities - I've had to endure hours of these games of playing against each other getting shot to pieces
don't freak out when they do things that are part of the 'normal' growing process
don't be afraid to say sorry to them if you are wrong - sometimes you will be
and all that some of the wise young men have said....

Thanks - sound advice. Will follow it.

[hamin_aus]

I think parents should be strick about academic progress.

O Rly?

I get in the 70s/80s (percentage) and for geo in the 70s...

What are you getting for English?

[Tribble]

Mortal_Wombat


Thanks - that is some straight talking. I will try and do the responsible thing. It is the respect thing I have trouble with. I have brought my kids up to question everything. But now they are questioning me. I never want to give the reason "because I said so" but they can drive me mad with the questions!!! Sometimes I am really tempted to. What would be better? Sometimes there isn't time to argue and at others Iam just too tired to.
Can't they just do as they are told? I did - until I left home.

[Off-The-Chart]

I think we all went/goes through the stage where we really think our parents are out to destroy our social lives...

After that, I think it is up to the parent to decide what is best for their children... It is after all how you decide to raise your children that determines how they will do in life...

Teach them stuff like respect to others and being well mannered towards others... All the little things will eventually add up to how well they grow up...

Bout the porn
We were never really restricted to it... Yes hardcore films/pictures were so out of the question, but nudity was not that much... We were taught this way cause you will eventually end up seeing nudity... Yes to some this might have been the wrong thing to do, but think it is a way I would also have my children grow up... Yes of course though this was only done on a certain age, like say from 14 upwards...

An age where they might also start becoming aware of themselves more...

[Tribble]

Bout the porn
We were never really restricted to it... Yes hardcore films/pictures were so out of the question, but nudity was not that much... We were taught this way cause you will eventually end up seeing nudity... Yes to some this might have been the wrong thing to do, but think it is a way I would also have my children grow up... Yes of course though this was only done on a certain age, like say from 14 upwards...

An age where they might also start becoming aware of themselves more...

Hee hee - we keep coming back to this topic - don't we. I feel that nudity is perfectly natural and it should not be a taboo subject. I do, however, not let my kids watch movies portraying nudity - as other things generally follow. They are taught that parts of their bodies are private but there is no ban on walking around the house <between the bathroom and bedroom>. I also don't freak out when they come into the bathroom when I am showering.

As for porn..... they have many more years as adults than they do as kids and they should be protected from that for as long as possible.

[Judas]

I guess the fact that you're asking means you're concerned, and if I was a shrink, I'd probably be doodling on the pad as you talked, but I would also say that as long as you're aware of what a huge impact you have on your kid, that's a good starting point. You can figure the rest out by yourself.

I'm going to have to agree with Mikdog here - the simple fact that you're willing to question your parenting techniques shows that you care deeply about your children, which is (in my opinion) the most important aspect of parenting. There are no finite "do's" and "don'ts", or steps to follow to raising your children well - but as long as they feel appreciated and loved they'll grow up with a strong sense of self-worth and value, the most important qualities necessary for psychological wellbeing.

It's natural for kids to start questioning their parent's authority at some point, so I wouldn't worry too much about that - just try to be patient with them, as difficult as it can be sometimes .

[Tribble]

It's natural for kids to start questioning their parent's authority at some point, so I wouldn't worry too much about that - just try to be patient with them, as difficult as it can be sometimes .

You have made my night. I do love and appreciate them - although they do drive me nuts!! Problem is, I was a roll-over and never openly questioned my parents. Yes I was a nerd and a wimp - probably still am. I will be patient, but if you see a woman running down the street, screaming. That would be me.

Thanks :bigups:

[Mortal_Wombat]

Lol yeah. My dad is very outspoken. I mean if you google for extrovert you'll probably find his picture. So he taught me to stand up for myself and have an opinion about things. My mom always jokes that having such an outspoken husband was a big mistake, because growing up, if she said something to my brothers and I, we always had three things to say back at her. I think teaching your kids self confidence is extremely important. Tell and show them how important special they are to you. Having lots of self confidence growing up is a great thing for a kid to have.

[Tribble]

Lol yeah. My dad is very outspoken. I mean if you google for extrovert you'll probably find his picture. So he taught me to stand up for myself and have an opinion about things. My mom always jokes that having such an outspoken husband was a big mistake, because growing up, if she said something to my brothers and I, we always had three things to say back at her. I think teaching your kids self confidence is extremely important. Tell and show them how important special they are to you. Having lots of self confidence growing up is a great thing for a kid to have.

I also think that that is important. I believe it is my job to lift them up - the rest of the world is gonna do everything to bring them down anway. Not my job. So, if they think that they are the best at something, who am I to tell them they are not. My folks tried to protect me from failure and I don't thank them for that. They must get to know themselves and try and find their "things" for themselves. Thanks.

[Judas]

It's natural for kids to start questioning their parent's authority at some point, so I wouldn't worry too much about that - just try to be patient with them, as difficult as it can be sometimes .

You have made my night. I do love and appreciate them - although they do drive me nuts!! Problem is, I was a roll-over and never openly questioned my parents. Yes I was a nerd and a wimp - probably still am.

Sounds like me, I also never really openly questioned my mother - mainly because she had quite a nasty temper and I was too scared to question her about anything... Which does harm in the long run, it's much better that your children are comfortable enough to challenge you rather than drawing away from you emotionally.

Of course, there's a fine line between being patient with them and letting them bully you - you don't want to let them have their way too often, or else they'll think they're running the show .

How old are your kids? Early teens I would guess? Normally it's somewhere around 13-15 that they start trying to question everything with their newfound logical abilities.

Thanks :bigups:

No problem! Glad that my amatuer-wannabe-psychologist 2c counts for something!

[Judas]

I also think that that is important. I believe it is my job to lift them up - the rest of the world is gonna do everything to bring them down anway. Not my job. So, if they think that they are the best at something, who am I to tell them they are not. My folks tried to protect me from failure and I don't thank them for that. They must get to know themselves and try and find their "things" for themselves. Thanks.

True, parents have so much of an impact on their children's lives that it's scary... The foundation of your personality is shaped by your parents during early childhood - quite a lot of responsiblity for the parents!

From the sounds of things you're doing a sterling job, so I really wouldn't worry about my parenting if I was you!

[Tribble]

Sounds like me, I also never really openly questioned my mother - mainly because she had quite a nasty temper and I was too scared to question her about anything... Which does harm in the long run, it's much better that your children are comfortable enough to challenge you rather than drawing away from you emotionally.

Of course, there's a fine line between being patient with them and letting them bully you - you don't want to let them have their way too often, or else they'll think they're running the show .

How old are your kids? Early teens I would guess? Normally it's somewhere around 13-15 that they start trying to question everything with their newfound logical abilities.


No problem! Glad that my amatuer-wannabe-psychologist 2c counts for something!

Of course it counts! I am also worried about the walk-over thing. Ages! Early teens? Hee hee. Mine start young. 5, 7 and 11. My daughter started questioning at 3!!! Some would say I am too soft. But I have rules and they have to be obeyed! I like being the BOSS

[Tribble]

From the sounds of things you're doing a sterling job, so I really wouldn't worry about my parenting if I was you!

:onfire: :bigups: You are the SWEEEETEST!!!! Thanks - my mood just lifted!

[Anakha56]

most important lesson i feel is humility...

teach them that we are all equal and to respect authority no matter if the person is younger or older than them is a great lesson to be learned. also teach them to question the world around them, never "hide" things from them, what i mean by that in my case my parents taught me that there is more than one religion and that it is my choice as my person to follow what makes me happy not what makes others happy.

im sure i have more but basically everyone has voiced the major few and i probably have repeated quite alot of them...

/end night shift insanity talk...

[Tribble]

most important lesson i feel is humility...

teach them that we are all equal and to respect authority no matter if the person is younger or older than them is a great lesson to be learned. also teach them to question the world around them, never "hide" things from them, what i mean by that in my case my parents taught me that there is more than one religion and that it is my choice as my person to follow what makes me happy not what makes others happy.

im sure i have more but basically everyone has voiced the major few and i probably have repeated quite alot of them...

/end night shift insanity talk...

Thanks - a good answer but HOW do I do that? In a world where we can't really trust anyone, how can they be expected to respect them? I have got them respecting us <I hope>, grandparents and teachers. The rest of the "Authority figures" have to earn it.

As for religion - my parents had none - so I have gone from one extreme to another. I will teach them all but leave the deviding up to them. I believe in the unifying theories of them all, not the selective preachings of any specific one. Glad to know that it will be appreciated one day.

[hamin_aus]

Are there such things as Good parents?

Hey, even if you suck at parenting, you couldn't be worse than this genius mom who stuck her baby right in a tigers face...

A six-year-old girl was mauled to death by a perfoming tiger at a zoo in China as she was being photographed with the animal, state press said on Friday. The attack occurred on Thursday at the Kunming Zoo in Yunnan province. The animal lunged at the girls head when a flashbulb went off as the child was being photographed, the Kunming Daily reported. The tiger held the child’s head in its mouth for over a minute as frantic trainers beat the animal with clubs and a chair, trying to force it to let go of the girl, identified as Rui Xin. She was rushed to hospital, where she was pronounced dead with a crushed skull. Her mother was also bitten on the arm. The male tiger had been performing at the zoo since May 2005, the paper said. Visitors paid 15 yuan (around two dollars) for a photo with the animal.

Oh noes!

[Tribble]

Hey, even if you suck at parenting, you couldn't be worse than this genius mom who stuck her baby right in a tigers face...

Boy, I think you are correct there! Wow. Imagine losing your kid for shuch a stupid reason!

[jee]

5. Point no4 will not be always possible, so if you have to outright veto an issue, make sure the kid understands WHY its done.

that has been my greatest success but also my greatest failure... one tends to create smart-mouthed kids that way, and if not done correctly they have discipline issues later in life. I don't stand back for anyone, be it a celeb, hoi=poloi or boss - but this kind of thing tends to create problems. (anakha's authority senario - a problem for me because i only respect those worthy of respect, and not because of their authority... *sigh*)

I must be one of the un-motherly mothers ever, yet my baby will be 21 this year, and even if i have to say so myself, i have not done too bad a job (most of the time). Remember as a mother you are NOT always right, you are NOT a saint (and they have to realise that) and just as you see them as individual with needs, so you are an indiv with needs - its a reciprocal issue.

Its also wise to treat a child according to his/her personality - yes - one of the most difficult things in the world - but child A will die if s/he gets a hiding where child B will die without Internet

[lancelot]

OH so deep, so deep! Beat the cr@p out of them as much as possible! 8O

[Psych0_Cr1tt3r]

[jee]

OH so deep, so deep! Beat the cr@p out of them as much as possible! 8O

is that what made you the old grouch that you are currently ye olde Rustbucket? *grins* - some you can.. some you can't - you can beat me all you like.. it will just make me more hardegat....

[ZeroS]

Character. Communication. Respect. Discpiline.
In that order.

Well I'm not yet a parent so I can't really say. But as kid, I was as bad as they'ld come. A week wouldn't pass without a beating from the school headmaster or my parents.
Never regretted any of it.

But...

the most I can think of atm is that one person's idea of dealing with kids may not work for someone else. Everyone's culture, standards, morals, circumstances, etc differ some way or the other. What I feel may work for me may not work for you.

But IMO you have what a parent needs most. A deep and passionate concern.
I mean, creating a thread to find out the best way to parent your kids is something indeed. With a parent like you, I'm sure they'ld turn out to be exceptinal individuals.

My choicest wishes for you.

[Tribble]

5. Point no4 will not be always possible, so if you have to outright veto an issue, make sure the kid understands WHY its done.

that has been my greatest success but also my greatest failure... one tends to create smart-mouthed kids that way, and if not done correctly they have discipline issues later in life. I don't stand back for anyone, be it a celeb, hoi=poloi or boss - but this kind of thing tends to create problems. (anakha's authority senario - a problem for me because i only respect those worthy of respect, and not because of their authority... *sigh*)

I must be one of the un-motherly mothers ever, yet my baby will be 21 this year, and even if i have to say so myself, i have not done too bad a job (most of the time). Remember as a mother you are NOT always right, you are NOT a saint (and they have to realise that) and just as you see them as individual with needs, so you are an indiv with needs - its a reciprocal issue.

Its also wise to treat a child according to his/her personality - yes - one of the most difficult things in the world - but child A will die if s/he gets a hiding where child B will die without Internet

Yes you are correct. My first can't live without PC, the second without going somewhere fun and the third without toys. EAch is different!

[Tribble]

Character. Communication. Respect. Discpiline.
In that order.

But IMO you have what a parent needs most. A deep and passionate concern.
I mean, creating a thread to find out the best way to parent your kids is something indeed. With a parent like you, I'm sure they'ld turn out to be exceptinal individuals.

My choicest wishes for you.

Thanks - that is really a nice thing to say. I really hope they turn out to be proud of themselves - whoever they end up being. After all, that is what counts!