PCFormat Forum Archive

To address Rusty's question.

Appling for leave requires the following:

An organic [must be Carbon-based] tub with a capacity of no less than 50 litres
50 litres or more of pure Dihydrogen Monoxide [distilled 31415927 times]
15 Starking or Royal Gala apples cultivated by a fertility or death goddess on the Isles of the Hesperides.
The original Sword of Damocles [accept NO alternatives!!!]
15 8cm by 8cm sheets of slightly weathered wax paper
An exquisitely sharp surgical steel pin
Quilling pen of pure gold [without plastic handle]
Soup ladle [just forged]

Method:
Mark 15 alternative leave dates in the wax paper using Braille.
Roll these up tighly using the quilling pen
Core the apples using the Sword of Damocles
Forcefully insert the rolled-up wax wax paper into the cavities created in the apples.
Add the Dihydrogen Monoxide to the tub using the fruit lable
Lob the apples into the tub of Dihydrogen Monoxide.
Use either the quilling pen, ladle, Sword of Damocles, pin, or your Ring finger to stir the Dihydrogen Monoxide 8 times clockwise and 13 times widdershins.
Meditate on the reflections in Dihydrogen Monoxide
Close your eyes, open your mouth, dunk your head in the Dihydrogen Monoxide, and endeavour to grab an apple using only your mouth.
When you eventually succeed, remove the wax paper from the apple.
The leave period inscribed on the wax paper is what you will beg your boss for.
If your request be rejected, the tub of Dihydrogen Monoxide, pin, or goddess may be used as a negotiating tool.

PS. Do not try this indoors or under a Blue Moon.

StarPhoenix wrote:Close your eyes, open your mouth

i was fine up until this point. i'm not some form of circus freak mutant!

i'll just pretend to go on leave.

and take up alcoholism. it sounds like a fun hobby.

Or you could persevere, retrieve all of the apples, and put them towards some home-made apple cider.

rustypup wrote: and take up alcoholism. it sounds like a fun hobby.

But it will add to your weight levels and then you will have to work harder in gym . I suggest you take up knitting! Tribble could do with some nice winter mittens...

/Appeling for leave? Does this mean you drink apple ciders?

Anakha56 wrote:But it will add to your weight levels

i will have you know whiskey has negative calories...






i wish

I see you did not reject the knitting option so when can Tribble expect to see her mittens?

see, to my mind, i can speed up the mittens production process by finding a couple of suitably proportioned kittens, scooping them out and slapping the results on the hands...

so, if she can ignore the dripping, the smell,the pathetic mewling and the complete inability to grasp anything then, yes, i would entertain the idea...

Negative Joules, Puppet? Brian Dunning would want multiple lines of evidence for the existence of such a thing. When last i heard, he was skeptical.

At Ankhie:

No. You must perform The Procedure. Quaffing cider is not part of that. At worst, you may swallow enough Dihydrogen Monoxide to have it forcefully expelled from your respiratory system by one of the two goddesses.

StarPhoenix wrote:Negative Joules, Puppet? Brian Dunning would want multiple lines of evidence for the existence of such a thing.

information==energy

memory==information

whiskey==memory loss

therefore....

negative joules...

anti-joules?

rustypup wrote:

StarPhoenix wrote:Negative Joules, Puppet? Brian Dunning would want multiple lines of evidence for the existence of such a thing.

information==energy

memory==information

whiskey==memory loss

therefore....

negative joules...

anti-joules?

Or W-inos?

Energy isn't a measurement of ability to do Work?

Rusty...you may just have identified Dark Matter.

rustypup wrote: finding a couple of suitably proportioned kittens, scooping them out and slapping the results on the hands...

I loled

rustypup wrote: so, if she can ignore the dripping, the smell,the pathetic mewling and the complete inability to grasp anything then, yes, i would entertain the idea...

If you take 3 kittens, then you'll have enough limbs for the fingers. It would just require a bit of stitching.

No. On what planet do you think that would be acceptable? I think that running stuff is keeping your blood too busy to go to your head.

Methinks that Bast will not be amused.
What say you, Tribble?

rustypup wrote:

Anakha56 wrote:But it will add to your weight levels

i will have you know whiskey has negative calories...






i wish

http://gizmodo.com/the-nine-healthiest- ... Gizmodo%29

Apparently whisky is one of those healthy drinks... Keep drinking!

Mmmm JW Blue......

I am supposed to be proof-reading a document, but am being told to let things that are not true, or do not follow, or feel cumbersome, slide. I don’t like this at all! 
I could not sleep with myself if I had to write what I am reading.

Add to this the people I have gabbling and giggling nearby. I would rather be doing this at home.

People have been barbecued for less.

Then it sounds to me that you are not proof reading, you are just reading? Just spell checking? The MS paper clip can do that too.

But you have to sleep with yourself - where else will you sleep if not there?

Nuke wrote:Then it sounds to me that you are not proof reading, you are just reading? Just spell checking? The MS paper clip can do that too.

Ooops....sorry....got my terminology wrong.

The manager gave the 72 page document to me and told me to check it for spelling and grammar.


I have issues with the way it is written as well as some of the claims being made. And I have had it up to here with all this ultra mega-size bold font BEE [or BBBEE in some parts of the document] and HDI stuff!!!

Burn! Kill! Glance at in a disapproving fashion!

StarPhoenix wrote:Burn! Kill! Glance at in a disapproving fashion!

At least you've retained your sense of humour!

GDI_Lord wrote:

StarPhoenix wrote:Burn! Kill! Glance at in a disapproving fashion!

At least you've retained your sense of humour!

There is a thing I do in black leather armour with twin swords drawn from scabbards attached to my back.
Drawn with a stylish flourish, I might add.

I feel your pain, inaccuracies, deliberate or not, gives you so much trouble in the long run, that it just not worth it IMO. But try telling that to other people.

Amen brother. I did sent a message to management on Wednesday asking for access to the source documents from which the copy swathes of text, but am still waiting for a reply.

OCD much?
Check the spelling and grammar as instructed and get it over with. You're just causing yourself needless frustration trying to fix it.

And then, glancing at him/her in a disapproving fashion of course, mention to your boss that you have severe reservations regarding the quality of work that had gone into the original doc.