Wizardofid's misadventures and other stories

[Tribble]

Intriguing. Can't wait to hear his reasoning for that.

[wizardofid]

If I decide to volunteer, do I at least get a say in my character/style of death etc?

No, but you can only supply details as to:

Build
Personality
Facial features
What work you do.


As for you actual death, will be build based on that, I just killed a waiter and his girlfriend, next will be tribble.....

[Tribble]

Yay! I am next! Good that I come early in his spree. Don't want him getting distracted and doing a fluff up job

[wizardofid]

Yay! I am next! Good that I come early in his spree. Don't want him getting distracted and doing a fluff up job

I said your next, I have no intention of killing the fictional you quickly... but that is all I am saying

[Koko_Lion]

Lets see how you would kill a lion!

[Tribble]

Mmmmm so he keeps me around for a while - that is a twist.

Lion - I can think of a few ways.....

[Koko_Lion]

No I am wondering what you thinking??

[wizardofid]

Lets see how you would kill a lion!

Well you are a bit of a introvert, and quiet, the killer hates that, so consider you self a small bump in the road, think death by car...so work well.

Oi, this is a serial killer not a Rambo movie.....

[wizardofid]

Mmmmm so he keeps me around for a while - that is a twist.

Lion - I can think of a few ways.....

Well lets just say it includes a paralytic......

[Tribble]

Oh it would be gory. But could I have you as a human or do you have to be a lion? Have ideas for both

[Tribble]

I would not do well paralysed - I need to move - constantly. So this would be interesting. You would have me losing my mind during the ordeal (if you had me sane to begin with).

[Koko_Lion]

You may make me what ever you want!

[Tribble]

Oooh now that is interesting. Give me some time and I will show you what happens to you

[wizardofid]

Oh it would be gory. But could I have you as a human or do you have to be a lion? Have ideas for both

serial killer and a lion ?

Well lets see...
miscellaneous diary entry 1#

I saw the alpha in his cage, the dominance of the pride.I must have that, I will eat the soul.The soul of caged pride and dominance.I can see the fading wildness in his eyes.It wants to be let out, I will let him out, again he will prowl, stalking prey unaware of the perfect trap.

I will go into his cage at night and silence him, I will stroke his mane in the moonlight, I will bring forth the soul, I will devour it.His pride and dominance will become untamed, the wildness will live through me.I will set his pride loose on the stage, I will make his dominance heard, his fear will echo again.Cunningly he will help set my trap for those who denied his freedom and pride.With night fall, he will stalk silently, waiting, watching, moving closer on his intended soulless prey.

His soul I must have, his soul cries for me, his soul wants me, it calls out my name.Come night I will set him free.

[wizardofid]

You may make me what ever you want!

are you sure about that, really?

I would not do well paralysed - I need to move - constantly. So this would be interesting. You would have me losing my mind during the ordeal (if you had me sane to begin with).

The whole idea, is to control you

[Tribble]

Control me? In your story perhaps

I hope you don't mind but I have written an introduction to Barry's character (Koko Lion) You have inspired me.

The young detective stared at the photographs on his desk. His stomach churned as he took in the details. The stale taste of coffee filled his mouth and he regretted the rushed breakfast. That is the last time he would eat before a callout. His eyes filled with tears, which he quickly blinked away. This was no time for sentiment. She was so young, he must keep his cool so that he could find whoever had done this to her.

He ran his fingers through his brown hair. There was something he was missing – now what was it. He picked up the first photo again and examined it closely. It showed Michelle in the exact position she had been found, before the ME had arrived and moved her body. Even in death she was beautiful. Her long golden hair fell loosely over her shoulders and framed her perfect face. You could see that she had been cleaned up as there were bits of dirt visible in her hairline. It must have been a terrible struggle.

Her dress was positioned around her demurely. He had taken care to make sure her legs and chest were properly covered. In fact, he had taken more care in her appearance and positioning than he had in covering up any clues. He was not afraid of being caught, he was on a mission. Barry shook his head. How does one become so screwed up, so delusional that you actually believe that you are doing the right thing? He looked at the basket. Wait a minute…. There was something familiar about that basket. He stood up and rubbed his face with his hands. What was it? He paced impatiently up and down. He hated it when his mind was not able to grasp onto the memories he so badly needed.

He walked back to the table and picked up the photo of the basket. He stared at it and willed the information to come to him. He could feel his jaw tightening, his teeth beginning to ache. Next thing he would have a tension headache and he would be no closer to catching this killer. He threw the photo down and spun around. He needed to hit something, badly. He gazed out the window and watched a pigeon trying to balance on the flag pole. Why did they insist on doing that? It was not possible. He had seen them fail many times – yet they persisted.

[wizardofid]

Control me? In your story perhaps

I hope you don't mind but I have written an introduction to Barry's character (Koko Lion) You have inspired me.

The young detective stared at the photographs on his desk. His stomach churned as he took in the details. The stale taste of coffee filled his mouth and he regretted the rushed breakfast. That is the last time he would eat before a callout. His eyes filled with tears, which he quickly blinked away. This was no time for sentiment. She was so young, he must keep his cool so that he could find whoever had done this to her.

He ran his fingers through his brown hair. There was something he was missing – now what was it. He picked up the first photo again and examined it closely. It showed Michelle in the exact position she had been found, before the ME had arrived and moved her body. Even in death she was beautiful. Her long golden hair fell loosely over her shoulders and framed her perfect face. You could see that she had been cleaned up as there were bits of dirt visible in her hairline. It must have been a terrible struggle.

Her dress was positioned around her demurely. He had taken care to make sure her legs and chest were properly covered. In fact, he had taken more care in her appearance and positioning than he had in covering up any clues. He was not afraid of being caught, he was on a mission. Barry shook his head. How does one become so screwed up, so delusional that you actually believe that you are doing the right thing? He looked at the basket. Wait a minute…. There was something familiar about that basket. He stood up and rubbed his face with his hands. What was it? He paced impatiently up and down. He hated it when his mind was not able to grasp onto the memories he so badly needed.

Now try first person only.....from the killers perspective

[Tribble]

I am really not good at first person - but will give it a try

[wizardofid]

I am really not good at first person - but will give it a try

Don't worry, I have to sit down and think about how to explain a scene.....really hard.Try remove the use of the word "and"

that is even harder, I try to refrain from using certain words.
or
that is even harder and trying to refrain from using certain words.

"and" is a dirty word here, so I use it as little as possible, it kills the suspension.

"I hammer his feet to the floor and elbowed his face and broken one of his fingers."

nasty to say the least

[Tribble]

“What an idiot! He is just a kid. How in the world do they think that he is a match for me?! Pacing around his office like a caged lion, no power, but the desire to own the world. He is an impotent beast. Nothing more. How many times must he look at her pictures before he realises that I have done this before. Done this many times. How can he not see her perfection? He looks at her but he doesn’t see her.”
The binoculars felt heavy in his hands as he watched the young detective pace around his fancy cage.

The pigeon outside the window seems to have caught his attention and his loathing is clearly visible on his face. Does such a strong beast look down on lesser creatures? How quaint. Soon I will be looking down on him. I can see it now. The giant beast, cowering on the floor, begging for his life….no begging for the life of some beautiful girl. I will make him watch as I purify her. Mmmm who would do for this? Aah Sally would be perfect. Such a petite little thing, with her highlights and enhanced breasts. How she loves to **** in public – what a dirty little vixen. I will make him watch as I make her cry with pleasure – and then scream in pain.

I don't avoid anything - I write on the fly. This is probably terrible

[wizardofid]

You are scary tribble.

My weak attempt

Following them down the alley, it couldn't be more perfect. Driving down the alley blocking their exit, forcing them into the boot, hiding their souls from being seen. Their souls didn't even struggle. I love insecure souls on my stage, a improvised stage, perfect. His girlfriend was with him, perfect little addition to the stage. I made her soul watch.

Finally arriving in a deserted field a few miles out of town, it felt like hours. Pumping chlorophyll to calm the souls, a few minutes silenced it, the souls were at peace with their fate. Screaming and kicking subsided quickly, the eerie silence like death was already here, with a strangle hold on it. Preparing the stage in the old cabin. Nailing down the vessels for it to escape, stripping them of all that hides the soul, setting up the video camera, Mr Detective will see what our art is all about. Then I will ram his fist down his throat, for his ignorance.

Propping the lifeless souls on the vessels, tying up their dirty little hands. Marveling at this perfect live stage, waking to them to its fate, its punishment, it brought excitement, my master piece is in play. Starting with her soul first, gagging her restless soul, nailing her feet to the floor boards, kept it at bay. Blood gushed from her feet, then silence the soul was quelled. I walked over to his restless soul, it pleaded for mercy. His soul was strong, quelling his soul required more punishment. The soul curled with pain it relaxed it's grip, as if it is accepting its fate.

Serves it right, it nearly soiled my stage.

[Tribble]

No - your attempt is not weak. You should take more pleasure in the pain you cause. I see that you choose not to see the people - but only their impersonal souls. How you refer to them as objects. I like that. I would go more for a personal feel - but then that is just me. Draw their anguish out - make a whole production of it. Go into detail and show how it affects/pleases your killer. You really rushed that and made it haphazard. Hard to follow but I get the disjointed workings of his mind.

[wizardofid]

No - your attempt is not weak. You should take more pleasure in the pain you cause. I see that you choose not to see the people - but only their impersonal souls. How you refer to them as objects. I like that. I would go more for a personal feel - but then that is just me. Draw their anguish out - make a whole production of it. Go into detail and show how it affects/pleases your killer. You really rushed that and made it haphazard. Hard to follow but I get the disjointed workings of his mind.

Yeah I think you forget it's his account, it's is rather difficult to tell the reader where he is, or tell the reader he is watching the fox outside howling at the moon.Describe the surrounding area, it is not about the where his victims find them self's, but rather about the victims only.

I could add subtle detail about his victims emotions and his inter actions with that.He is telling the reader about his victims and vaguely refers to the stage, if he does elaborate on the stage, it would still be limited to what directly effects his victims like light, or the flames in the fire place dancing on their souls.

It is a predicament, add too much detail and then you must keep the attention and suspense of the reader over a longer section.

You have to remember the reader is reading his diary,

it is suppose to entice the reader to imagine what the old cabin in the deserted field looks like......dammit I hate explaining, what I am thinking.

Sigh.....

You really rushed that and made it haphazard. Hard to follow but I get the disjointed workings of his mind.

There is section before and after this that explains how and why.....which I am not going to post and can't post, I had to edit this section.

[Koko_Lion]

Oh it would be gory. But could I have you as a human or do you have to be a lion? Have ideas for both

serial killer and a lion ?

Well lets see...
miscellaneous diary entry 1#

I saw the alpha in his cage, the dominance of the pride.I must have that, I will eat the soul.The soul of caged pride and dominance.I can see the fading wildness in his eyes.It wants to be let out, I will let him out, again he will prowl, stalking prey unaware of the perfect trap.

I will go into his cage at night and silence him, I will stroke his mane in the moonlight, I will bring forth the soul, I will devour it.His pride and dominance will become untamed, the wildness will live through me.I will set his pride loose on the stage, I will make his dominance heard, his fear will echo again.Cunningly he will help set my trap for those who denied his freedom and pride.With night fall, he will stalk silently, waiting, watching, moving closer on his intended soulless prey.

His soul I must have, his soul cries for me, his soul wants me, it calls out my name.Come night I will set him free.

Wow! Awsome! Hats off to you!

[wizardofid]

Wow! Awsome! Hats off to you!

I could have made it gruesome and bloody, the point was rather how he pities the lion and uses it as a reason to kill those responsible for his capture and then killing them like a lion, unsuspecting.
Not really meaningful or any thing.Just slightly sick and twisted.

Glad you like it