the (mainly) non-Christians thread.

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 23 Mar 2011, 08:37

Bwahahahahahahaha it amazes me how people see Satan everywhere. Is it so important to blame our failings on an entity?

senile · Post by **senile** » 23 Mar 2011, 18:55

I was wondering... how do atheists marry. I mean do they have a ceremony in a chapel or do they just have a jol at the local casino? How about atheists that got married while they were Christians, do they get divorced or do they stay married after they changed religion?

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 23 Mar 2011, 19:01

A court wedding?

senile · Post by **senile** » 23 Mar 2011, 19:02

Tribble wrote:A court wedding?

boring

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 23 Mar 2011, 19:19

Hey! My mother had a court wedding. The church refused to marry them because my dad had been married before and my mom was pregnant (with me)

senile · Post by **senile** » 23 Mar 2011, 20:15

Tribble wrote:Hey! My mother had a court wedding. The church refused to marry them because my dad had been married before and my mom was pregnant (with me)

That's harsh

If I may ask was it a catholic church or what?

Post by **KALSTER** » 23 Mar 2011, 20:28

senile wrote:I was wondering... how do atheists marry. I mean do they have a ceremony in a chapel or do they just have a jol at the local casino? How about atheists that got married while they were Christians, do they get divorced or do they stay married after they changed religion?

It would depend on the situation. As I am more or less an atheist in secret (nobody but my brothers and best friends know), I would be open to pandering to the families involved, if my wife was open to it as an atheist. If she was Xtian, then I would have no problem with a church wedding. If the situation is that I am open about my atheism, then I suppose the ceremony could be done at a nice location with the Pastor replaced by a judge or whatever and all the god stuff removed. The vows and everything would still be there of course.

Website · Post by **hamin_aus** » 24 Mar 2011, 02:51

Yeah, I don't see a problem with getting married in a church. I just want the piece of paper saying it's now illegal for you to sleep with other men and I'd be willing to put up with a fair amount to get it

Although, the Catholic church makes you go for 3 months of marriage counselling before you can be married by them...
I always thought it odd that some 80 year old probable kiddie-fiddler who has never been married gets to 'counsel' me about marriage.

Weddings, funerals and baptisms (if it's the child of people I am close with), otherwise I'm not interested in visiting your place of worship, thanks!

Unlike my conformist friend KALSTER, my friends and family all know I'm not interested in their religion - as will the lucky women who marries me. Her friends and family as well.

KatrynKat · Post by **KatrynKat** » 24 Mar 2011, 05:37

jamin_za wrote:Unlike my conformist friend KALSTER, my friends and family all know I'm not interested in their religion - as will the lucky women who marries me. Her friends and family as well.

are you planning to marry more than one woman at the same time or just get married and divorced many times....

Tribble · Post by **Tribble** » 24 Mar 2011, 05:37

senile wrote: That's harsh If I may ask was it a catholic church or what?

Anglican

Prime · Post by **Prime** » 24 Mar 2011, 07:30

I'm not I sure I see a point to marriage as an athiest.

Post by **KALSTER** » 24 Mar 2011, 09:00

Prime wrote:I'm not I sure I see a point to marriage as an athiest.

It's a ceremony where you swear your undying love and devotion to your better half in the presence of close friends and family, followed by a celebration of the fact. A government official makes you two a legal entity. What's not to like?

Unlike my conformist friend KALSTER

I don't want my parents believing their beloved son will burn in sulphur for eternity.

chowzen · Post by **chowzen** » 24 Mar 2011, 09:52

As with Prime - I also do not see the point to marriage. Legally, I am already partnered with my girl and if she leaves me, legally she can get half of my stuff. So what exactly is the point to marriage.

@kalster - I see where you are with that, and to an extent I would agree. My parents don't know that I am an atheist, but every one else does. I decided to leave it like that, you know, considering their feelings and all. What they believe is their problem, at some point I might tell them...and when I do, I will reference the teapot orbiting earth.

Sojourn · Post by **Sojourn** » 24 Mar 2011, 10:05

chowzen wrote:Legally, I am already partnered with my girl and if she leaves me, legally she can get half of my stuff.

The common law partnership laws are muddy at best. Without a penned and signed agreement between unmarried couples, normally the rule "whats mine is mine and what is yours is yours" apply.
It is not as simple as, "we been together for 5+ years, now give me 50%".

Post by **Anakha56** » 24 Mar 2011, 10:11

To add my point in to it.

Mine will be happening in a church with a priest thingie and I will be drinking tequila when he is not watching so I am balancing it all out

. as a very wise friend told me, the day is not about you and your SO it is about the family and the show so just grin and bear it and enjoy the events that happen later.

BTW If you do not want a priest your other option is for a beach wedding with a captain of a ship doing the ceremony that is allowed just as long as its by a body of water and possibly by or on his ship.

+1 to Soj on common law law...

chowzen · Post by **chowzen** » 24 Mar 2011, 10:50

I stand corrected - thanks..

But still..why even marry - what is the point? Family...can suck it imo..I won't do things of that magnitude just for them to smile...pleh..
Is there a law that says you must get married in front of a religious leader/captain...
If some one convinces me one day to do this - I would just get the papers in court - and then have a separate ceremony without all the religious mumbo jumbo and more a festival of sorts..

KatrynKat · Post by **KatrynKat** » 24 Mar 2011, 10:50

even a magistrate can "marry" you..... my dad has done it a few times so there again you don't need someone from a "church"...

Post by **Anakha56** » 24 Mar 2011, 11:05

Your only options AFAIK are court, religion, sea. Court due to surroundings is very ... bland. Religion and Sea will at least allow for some scenery.

On my side the SO mom is paying for the wedding so I will sit back and let it go which ever direction she so pleases...

Post by **ryanrich** » 24 Mar 2011, 11:15

I couldn't care either way to be honest but I've yet to meet a girl who doesn't want a nice wedding in a church, so as Anakha says I'll just sit back and let it take whichever direction the lady wants it to and get drunk afterwards (during?)...

Post by **Anakha56** » 24 Mar 2011, 11:21

ryanrich wrote:I couldn't care either way to be honest but I've yet to meet a girl who doesn't want a nice wedding in a church, so as Anakha says I'll just sit back and let it take whichever direction the lady wants it to and get drunk afterwards (during?)...

Most definitely during. With her family most definitely during

. The wedding list is currently sitting at 200 people with 70% of those people hers!

GreyWolf · Post by **GreyWolf** » 24 Mar 2011, 11:21

Anakha56 wrote:Your only options AFAIK are court, religion, sea. Court due to surroundings is very ... bland. Religion and Sea will at least allow for some scenery.

Last 3 wedding I went to were not held at ANY religious / municipal / marine locations. What you talkin' bout lewis?

Post by **Anakha56** » 24 Mar 2011, 11:24

Huh, when the g/f's eldest brother got married he was told that those were his 3 options. Please can someone enlighten all us then as to what the law is?

KatrynKat · Post by **KatrynKat** » 24 Mar 2011, 11:35

AFAIK the documents must just be signed where there is a roof or some structure but other than that you can get married anywhere....
how else do those who have a beach or outside/garden weddings do it....

Who May Perform a Marriage Ceremony?
Only a marriage officer may conduct a marriage. Every magistrate, special justice of the peace, and commissioner is a Marriage Officer, as are those ministers of religion (and only those) so designated by the Minister of Home Affairs.

Where May I Marry?
According to the Marriage Act, the ceremony must take place in a church or other building used for religious services, or in a public office (such as a magistrate’s court) or private dwelling. During the service the chosen venue must have ‘open doors’ and the service must be conducted in the presence of the parties themselves and two witnesses. A marriage service conducted without two witnesses is not considered legal.

May I Marry Outside?
If you plan to marry in a garden or on the beach, it is best to repeat the legal part of the service indoors so as to avoid any doubts about whether you are formally married or not (see 'Where May I Marry?' above). The same applies to marrying in a restaurant or other building not defined by the act. However, as long as your marriage is solemnized by a competent Marriage Officer, the courts are not readily inclined to declare a marriage invalid simply because it was held in the wrong place.

http://www.weddingsabroad.co.za/create_ ... lities.htm

Wikipedia's Marriage....

Prime · Post by **Prime** » 24 Mar 2011, 21:48

KALSTER wrote:
Prime wrote:I'm not I sure I see a point to marriage as an athiest.
It's a ceremony where you swear your undying love and devotion to your better half in the presence of close friends and family, followed by a celebration of the fact. A government official makes you two a legal entity. What's not to like?

Unlike my conformist friend KALSTER
I don't want my parents believing their beloved son will burn in sulphur for eternity.

It's not that I don't like it, I just think of marriage as a religious ceremony. Maybe the churches I was involved with attached to much spiritual significance to it.

I guess it would ultimately depend on my other half and what she wanted. Maybe I'm just cynical.

KatrynKat wrote:AFAIK the documents must just be signed where there is a roof or some structure but other than that you can get married anywhere....
how else do those who have a beach or outside/garden weddings do it....

Who May Perform a Marriage Ceremony?
Only a marriage officer may conduct a marriage. Every magistrate, special justice of the peace, and commissioner is a Marriage Officer, as are those ministers of religion (and only those) so designated by the Minister of Home Affairs.

Where May I Marry?
According to the Marriage Act, the ceremony must take place in a church or other building used for religious services, or in a public office (such as a magistrate’s court) or private dwelling. During the service the chosen venue must have ‘open doors’ and the service must be conducted in the presence of the parties themselves and two witnesses. A marriage service conducted without two witnesses is not considered legal.

May I Marry Outside?
If you plan to marry in a garden or on the beach, it is best to repeat the legal part of the service indoors so as to avoid any doubts about whether you are formally married or not (see 'Where May I Marry?' above). The same applies to marrying in a restaurant or other building not defined by the act. However, as long as your marriage is solemnized by a competent Marriage Officer, the courts are not readily inclined to declare a marriage invalid simply because it was held in the wrong place.
http://www.weddingsabroad.co.za/create_ ... lities.htm

Wikipedia's Marriage....

Does the Marriage officer count as a witness?
And why the open doors?

jee · Post by **jee** » 26 Mar 2011, 07:44

I would like to see proper legislation for life partners - same sex or hetero. If you are not "legally" married with that piece of paper, your partner, in most instances can not get your pension/some policies when you die, can't be on your medical aid, cannot make decisions when you are in a coma and need an urgent op... Sad but true.

I also think that the marriage thing is to prevent divorce... if you get my drift... if you are legally bound and made a promise before god and the family you cannot just take your toofbrush and your underpants and creep out one sultry summer evening when she is busy cleaning up baby vomit. It is suppose to make you think, and cost you more to leave than to stay and try to work it out. However, my opinion is currently jaded... so don't take it seriously.

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