--------------------------------------
An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked."
The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?"
So they stripped and sat down at the table again.
Soon the old woman said, "Honey, my boobs are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."
The man replied, "Of course they are dear, one's in your oatmeal and the others in your coffee!"
--------------------------------------
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench, discussing their respective husbands, and likening them to cars.
The first old lady says,"my husbands lika a ferrari, great to look at, gets you to your destination at high speed."
The second old lady says, "mine's like a Rolls-Royce, a great ride gets you there in style."
The last old lady says, "mine's like a Model T Ford,"
As the other two look at her quizzically, she quickly explains " still has to be started by hand."
--------------------------------------
Q. How do people older than 50 have oral s3x?
A. They talk about it.
--------------------------------------
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him
to no end. Everytime he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
--------------------------------------
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting quietly in the corner.
After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean R200.00 for a bl*w job!"
--------------------------------------
And now I'll leave you peeps. Beer's up!!!
:biggrin:
