What you will need:
1) 1 x U-bolt
2) 1 x long tent hook
3) 2 x bicycle tubes, cut to make two straight pieces of elastic.
4) An old central locking set with remote.
5) Some electrical cable.
6) A piece of corrugated iron
7) Piece of raw meat
Construction:
1) Fasten the U-bolt to the middle of the piece of corrugated iron.
2) Tie one end of each elastic to two upright structures, like two trees, about 4 meters up.
3) Fasten the other ends to the sides of the corrugated iron.
4) Hammer the tent hook into the ground half-way between the trees, but about 4 meters away from them.
5) Connect the central locking assembly to your car battery using the electrical cable.
6) Switch the central locking motor with pin to a closed position and insert the pin through the hole made by the tent hook.
7) Pull down the corrugated iron and hook the U-bolt under the pin of the central locking assembly.
Method:
1) Place the piece of meat on the corrugated iron and call loudly: "Bates! Bates! Din-din!"
2) Hide
3) Giggle like a maniac.
4) When he is in position, press the button of salvation.
5) Marvel at my genius.
Protip: This is a good opportunity to piss off annoying neighbours, so you might want to aim in their direction.
Protip 2: It might be a good idea to position a lasso around the meat, connected to a lit, good sized cherry bomb. You would not want it finding it's way back!
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle
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