Difference between men and women.

[IcePick88]

not true for all women on all the things that you have said here....

you clearly see women as the inferior gender.... GL to you!!

Most married men will understand my posts.

[Tribble]

Most married women will understand your cynicism too

You are baiting us and there is a problem with that. I could launch into all the generalisations about men, about their faults and basal natures - but what good would that do? You are not attacking men's characters - but women's. And the more I say - the more I would give away. So........

You are right. Some women are exactly as you describe - or the generalisation and all the jokes would not be around, or popular for that matter. Don't be deluded - we do not marry just for love. We marry to have needs met. Some women need a protector and will marry a huge, burly strong man. Others need a provider and will marry a rich guy or the guy with potential to be rich. Other women need a friend, a confidant. So they will marry someone sensitive and understanding - a good listener.

Do women want to change their men? Perhaps. I don't waste my time on useless activities so perhaps that is why I haven't tried. There is sense in knowing when a battle is worth fighting and when it isn't.

You make out that men have become wimps in an effort to please women. You are right. Why do you think that is? Is the power of sex so strong that a man cannot stand up for himself and demand that she treat him decently? Or could it be that it is easier to back down than to take a stand? Could it be that he doesn't know what he wants so he defers to her judgement?

I dunno - I do not know these wimps you are talking about. The guys I know are all decent, strong men who are able to relate to both men and women equally well (yes - even the married ones). Do they let her get her way every now and again? Yes because there is something in it for them. Does she have to back down sometimes - yes.

Now - back to this baiting. You are doing one of two things. Either you are so unhappy in your marriage - so disillusioned that you are unable to see that not everyone is in the same situation - or you are prodding the beast. I think it is the latter. Anyone that unhappy would have left the marriage by now. You have found a sensitive spot and are literally waiting to see what reaction you are going to get I hope that I did not disappoint you.

And as for that shopping centre selling guys. Have you considered that the women continued to the top because they were curious and nothing more? Perhaps the guys were so fantastic that the women were not fooled into believing the hype. No one is perfect - and if you enter a relationship or marriage believing that they are - then you are a fool. A love sick fool but one nonetheless.

[KatrynKat]

hear hear!!!

[IcePick88]

Most married women will understand your cynicism too

You are baiting us and there is a problem with that. I could launch into all the generalisations about men, about their faults and basal natures - but what good would that do? You are not attacking men's characters - but women's. And the more I say - the more I would give away. So........

You are right. Some women are exactly as you describe - or the generalisation and all the jokes would not be around, or popular for that matter. Don't be deluded - we do not marry just for love. We marry to have needs met. Some women need a protector and will marry a huge, burly strong man. Others need a provider and will marry a rich guy or the guy with potential to be rich. Other women need a friend, a confidant. So they will marry someone sensitive and understanding - a good listener.

Do women want to change their men? Perhaps. I don't waste my time on useless activities so perhaps that is why I haven't tried. There is sense in knowing when a battle is worth fighting and when it isn't.

You make out that men have become wimps in an effort to please women. You are right. Why do you think that is? Is the power of sex so strong that a man cannot stand up for himself and demand that she treat him decently? Or could it be that it is easier to back down than to take a stand? Could it be that he doesn't know what he wants so he defers to her judgement?

I dunno - I do not know these wimps you are talking about. The guys I know are all decent, strong men who are able to relate to both men and women equally well (yes - even the married ones). Do they let her get her way every now and again? Yes because there is something in it for them. Does she have to back down sometimes - yes.

Now - back to this baiting. You are doing one of two things. Either you are so unhappy in your marriage - so disillusioned that you are unable to see that not everyone is in the same situation - or you are prodding the beast. I think it is the latter. Anyone that unhappy would have left the marriage by now. You have found a sensitive spot and are literally waiting to see what reaction you are going to get I hope that I did not disappoint you.

And as for that shopping centre selling guys. Have you considered that the women continued to the top because they were curious and nothing more? Perhaps the guys were so fantastic that the women were not fooled into believing the hype. No one is perfect - and if you enter a relationship or marriage believing that they are - then you are a fool. A love sick fool but one nonetheless.

Had to laugh at my highlighted bits.

No. The women clearly knew the rules of the shop. If you go up a floor or exit, there is no coming back. Still she had to push her luck to see if she could find the "perfect" one.

One thing I agree with you is that no-one is perfect and if you enter a relationship thinking that the other person is, you are a fool. Agree 100%.

But, women are just so much more complicated than men. Admit it, it's fact.
You react more on emotion and all that stuff. That is what makes you such near-impossible creatures to live with.

Throw some generalisations of men around and lets see. We will probably admit to most of them, but it does not make us wound up-emotional acid trip-crazies.

[Tribble]

Only twice? I would have thought you would find more laughable than that Ah - so you do want me to throw around a few generalisations...... ok

I am not so sure we are that more complicated. I always thought men would be direct and not manipulative. I have found that not to be the case. I find some men can be incredibly emotional - to the point of destruction. They get depressed easily and withdraw and refuse to see the positive side. They constantly seek attention and want to be the centre of whatever is happening.

They are closed off to how others feel and what others need. They are not interested in hearing what you think or how your day was. But they are very invested in telling you about theirs. They can be supportive when it suits them but they often find fault in most of what you do. They believe they are cleverer and more intelligent and get upset when your opinion differs from theirs. They expect you to stay the same. They don't like you to change or to grow. They are jealous and inflexible.

I watch my brother, friends and family - and men all show one common trait - they are self absorbed. The world revolves around them and everyone else is there to please them. To make them food, clean their clothes, keep the house clean and neat, pay the bills, do the shopping, etc. I am surprised when I see a man out shopping - or somewhere with his wife. I generally assume it is new love or he is controlling her and making sure she does not overspend. Cynical enough yet?

People become unhappy in their marriages because they have unrealistic expectations. I have learnt a few things over the years.

• * If you are unhappy - and do nothing about it to change the situation - then it is your fault.
  * If you don't like something, speak up or hold your tongue and live with it.
  * Men will not change - it is not even worth mentioning.
  * No point complaining. Things will change for the short term and then return to the way they were.
  * No point asking for consideration or attention - if it doesn't come naturally then it is false.
  * You may be married but you are still two very different people - you are not one.
  * There is never an equal balance in a relationship - each partner will always feel worse off or done in by the other
  * There is no fairy tale happy ending - only what you make of what you have
  * If it is worth it - work at it. Bite your tongue and only fight those battles that are worth fighting.

That is a long list of negatives - but life isn't only about that. There are things in life that make it worth living. Worth spending time with the opposite sex for. We would not put up with all of that if it did not make this a better (if somewhat more challenging) place.

Men and women may not always be able to connect emotionally or socially - but we have no trouble connecting physically. And that is perhaps what makes us put up with all this other stuff. That intimate connection we make. That spark of passion that transcends all other issues for a while. That, for me, makes it worthwhile.

[IcePick88]

Is that all?

I would like to talk about that one where we don't want to hear how your day was ect.

Ask a man how his day was, and he will probably say a couple of words. "It was ok" or "Ag not too bad".
Ask a women how her day was, and she will recite the whole day in detail. What everyone said, what the latest gossip is, what the boss did and on and on and on and on.

So I think that men ARE interested in how your day was, but he also does not feel like sitting down for 20mins and listen to a flood of words about mostly non-important things.

We asked how YOUR day was. Not how the coffee lady tripped and fell, not about the co-worker who got his finger jammed in the printer and things like that.

One piece of advise to women is, keep it short. Once you start telling us things that does not relate to you, we shut off.


Second. I think men who think their wives are only there to cook and clean and for him to sit on the couch is of the old school guys. I like helping around the house. I do laundry, dishes, clean the house, shop with my wife (even for clothes!) and generally help everywhere. And I've been with my wife for 8 years.

Yes, we are lazy, hate house work and have bad habits.

It's all about compromise.

[Tribble]

It sure is about compromise.

I do not go into the whole day - my day is generally "Fine or Ok" unless I had an argument with someone. I might talk about it or I might just keep it for when I chat to Mom. So perhaps roll are sometimes reversed. I don't feel the need to share. The less someone knows about what is going on with me - the better.

I used to watch my dad recount his entire day - and most conversations for my mom, but go blank if she mentioned something that happened at her work. My father in law did it too. So - perhaps that is personality more than gender specific.

You may think that men like that are old fashioned - I see it a bit differently. But they exist. They are here and we have them all around us.