A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about
enlarging her bre@sts.
Dr. Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower,
rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I
want bigger b00bies!'
She did this faithfully for several months !
To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup
b00bs !
One morning she was running late, got on the bus,
and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning
ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely b00bs if she didn't
recite the little rhyme, she stood up in the middle aisle
of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie,
doobies, I want bigger b00bies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 'Oh! Are
you a patient of Dr. Smith 's ?'
'Yes I am... How did you know ?'
He winked and replied, " Hickory dickory dock "
Jokes! - come have a laugh
Forum rules
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The global forum rules are found here.
NOTE: posts in this section are not counted towards your total.
-
KatrynKat
- Insane in the Membrane
- Posts: 24490
- Joined: 18 Jul 2010, 17:42
- Location: In my BDSM dungeon - aka Lockdown
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
bwahahahahha..... 
"This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons."
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
After writing an English exam paper, Julius Malema looked stressed.
His friend asked him, "WHY ARE YOU WORRIED JULIUS? HOW WAS THE EXAM"?
Julius replied, "IT WAS OK BUT I AM WORRIED ABOUT QUESTION NUMBER 5."
His friend asked, "WHAT WAS THE QUESTION"?
Julius said,, "IT ASKED THE PAST TENSE OF THE WORD THINK. I 4GOT THE ANSWER, SO I THOUGHT AND THOUGHT AND THOUGHT.
AT LAST I WROTE THUNK …
His friend asked him, "WHY ARE YOU WORRIED JULIUS? HOW WAS THE EXAM"?
Julius replied, "IT WAS OK BUT I AM WORRIED ABOUT QUESTION NUMBER 5."
His friend asked, "WHAT WAS THE QUESTION"?
Julius said,, "IT ASKED THE PAST TENSE OF THE WORD THINK. I 4GOT THE ANSWER, SO I THOUGHT AND THOUGHT AND THOUGHT.
AT LAST I WROTE THUNK …
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skunkymunky
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 5906
- Joined: 04 Mar 2003, 02:00
- Location: The HoffPalace
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
I went to an audition today, and to my surprise Tom Hanks was the casting director.
I asked him "Are you trying to make it 'Big' in casting Tom?"
"Very funny". He replied, "But your late."
I said "Sorry Tom, but there was traffic on the 'Road to Perdition' and I cut over a field and it was a really 'Green Mile'".
"Stop naming my movies and focus on your audition!" He shouted.
"You're right Tom, I'm finding it hard to focus because I skipped breakfast. All I've had is one piece of toast and some 'Philadelphia'".
"DAMN IT !" He screamed, "I'M THE CASTING DIRECTOR TODAY, NOT AN ACTOR, SO SHOW ME SOME DAMN RESPECT AND LET ME DO MY CASTING!!"
"Ok" I replied, "......... 'Castaway'".
I asked him "Are you trying to make it 'Big' in casting Tom?"
"Very funny". He replied, "But your late."
I said "Sorry Tom, but there was traffic on the 'Road to Perdition' and I cut over a field and it was a really 'Green Mile'".
"Stop naming my movies and focus on your audition!" He shouted.
"You're right Tom, I'm finding it hard to focus because I skipped breakfast. All I've had is one piece of toast and some 'Philadelphia'".
"DAMN IT !" He screamed, "I'M THE CASTING DIRECTOR TODAY, NOT AN ACTOR, SO SHOW ME SOME DAMN RESPECT AND LET ME DO MY CASTING!!"
"Ok" I replied, "......... 'Castaway'".
Fool people into thinking youve got a horse by taking off a unicorns horn
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rustypup
- Registered User
- Posts: 8872
- Joined: 13 Dec 2004, 02:00
- Location: nullus pixius demonica
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
:/...skunkymunky wrote:"But your late."
you're
....
you're
you're
you're
you're
you're
aargleblaargle! <stab!stab!stab!..>
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so - Bertrand Russel
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
"Call of Duty: Black Ops" is actually the name of the next #ANCYL conference.
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected the following items:
A litre of milk
A carton of eggs
A carton of orange juice
A 250 gram package of bacon
A head of lettuce
A 1 kilo can of coffee
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the Cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you’re absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you’re ugly."
A litre of milk
A carton of eggs
A carton of orange juice
A 250 gram package of bacon
A head of lettuce
A 1 kilo can of coffee
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the Cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you’re absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you’re ugly."
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a
bright, ‘T-G-I-F.’
He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T.’
She looked puzzled and repeated, ‘T-G-I-F,’ more slowly.
He again answered, ‘S-H-I-T.’
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile,
and said as sweetly as possibly, ‘T-G-I-F.’
The man smiled back to her and once again, ‘S-H-I-T.’
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it, duuhhh?’
The man answered, ”S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday’
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a
bright, ‘T-G-I-F.’
He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T.’
She looked puzzled and repeated, ‘T-G-I-F,’ more slowly.
He again answered, ‘S-H-I-T.’
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile,
and said as sweetly as possibly, ‘T-G-I-F.’
The man smiled back to her and once again, ‘S-H-I-T.’
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it, duuhhh?’
The man answered, ”S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday’
-
wizardofid
- Registered User
- Posts: 10962
- Joined: 03 Oct 2003, 02:00
- Processor: Intel 2500K
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- Memory: 8Gig DDR3 1333mhz
- Location: I'm so Goth, my wrists slit themselves.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
well not a joke but still
Antarctica's Red-light District.
How would you feel if your mate came home after spending the night with a member of the world's oldest profession? I think it's safe to say that you probably wouldn't be very happy.
Well, for the first time it has been observed that the male specimen of Homo sapiens is not the only species to pay for someone else's services. Yes, it has been scientifically determined that the male Adelie penguin, which lives on Ross Island down in the Antarctic, also pays for the special favors of a female.
I can just picture it now:
The female gets all dolled up and puts on her sexiest skin-tight tuxedo (what else would a penguin wear?). She then heads out for a night on the town. A potential male customer is spotted out in the distance. She sways her hips back and forth and approaches the gentlemen.
“Hey, honey.” she says in her sexiest Mae West-like voice. “How would you like me to warm your chilled bones?”
The lonely male penguin is attracted to her like steel to a magnet. They agree to terms and do their thing.
Now, I know what you are thinking. (Well, maybe not.) Penguins don't carry cash and they have never been known to carry an American Express card, so just how do they pay?
With stones.
Yes, you read that correctly - stones. Also known as pebbles, cobbles, and rocks. It makes no difference if the payment is sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic. All types of Flinstonian currency are accepted.
Let's get back to reality...
Actually, the Adelie penguins are known to mate for life. At least that is what the male is led to believe.
Every so often, the female wanders off in search of stones to build her nest with. Since there are no trees or grasses to be found in this frozen wasteland, stones make the best nesting material by default. But even stones are difficult to find in this cold climate. Those that do exist are most likely frozen solid in the mud or ice. The stones are of such great value to the penguins that they will steal them from each other, even though they face a high risk of being attacked by the owner of this hard currency (and this currency certainly is hard).
But wait!
The female Adelie penguin has figured out a better way. She exchanges copulations for the stones. The female slips away from her mate and just happens to wander over to the nest of an unpaired male.
Hmmm… What could she be thinking?
She goes through the standard courtship procedure. You know, the usual dip of the head and the coy look from the corner of the eye. If the male shows some interest, she will just lie prone as an invitation to mate. Once the mating is over, she picks up her payment (the stone) and heads back home to her unsuspecting mate.
Believe it or not, this is truly serious science. A researcher named Fiona M. Hunter of the University of Cambridge has been studying these cheating penguins for years. (Why anyone would ever want to study in such a cold place is beyond me. I was once offered a complete scholarship to do my graduate work in Antarctica. All the money in the world couldn't get me there. Instead, I decided to stay warm and chose a different college.)
Hunter also observed ten different females who played an even smarter game. Each of these penguins went through the whole mutual courtship routine, picked up their payment, and just left before any hanky panky ever took place. Oddly, the males showed no aggressive behavior for being denied their pleasure. In fact, these same females actually had the nerve to return for more pebbles. One female managed to get 62 stones from one male in just one hour. (Obviously, she was the Pam Anderson of the bird world.)
And her husband was the last to know…
Antarctica's Red-light District.
How would you feel if your mate came home after spending the night with a member of the world's oldest profession? I think it's safe to say that you probably wouldn't be very happy.
Well, for the first time it has been observed that the male specimen of Homo sapiens is not the only species to pay for someone else's services. Yes, it has been scientifically determined that the male Adelie penguin, which lives on Ross Island down in the Antarctic, also pays for the special favors of a female.
I can just picture it now:
The female gets all dolled up and puts on her sexiest skin-tight tuxedo (what else would a penguin wear?). She then heads out for a night on the town. A potential male customer is spotted out in the distance. She sways her hips back and forth and approaches the gentlemen.
“Hey, honey.” she says in her sexiest Mae West-like voice. “How would you like me to warm your chilled bones?”
The lonely male penguin is attracted to her like steel to a magnet. They agree to terms and do their thing.
Now, I know what you are thinking. (Well, maybe not.) Penguins don't carry cash and they have never been known to carry an American Express card, so just how do they pay?
With stones.
Yes, you read that correctly - stones. Also known as pebbles, cobbles, and rocks. It makes no difference if the payment is sedimentary, igneous, or metamorphic. All types of Flinstonian currency are accepted.
Let's get back to reality...
Actually, the Adelie penguins are known to mate for life. At least that is what the male is led to believe.
Every so often, the female wanders off in search of stones to build her nest with. Since there are no trees or grasses to be found in this frozen wasteland, stones make the best nesting material by default. But even stones are difficult to find in this cold climate. Those that do exist are most likely frozen solid in the mud or ice. The stones are of such great value to the penguins that they will steal them from each other, even though they face a high risk of being attacked by the owner of this hard currency (and this currency certainly is hard).
But wait!
The female Adelie penguin has figured out a better way. She exchanges copulations for the stones. The female slips away from her mate and just happens to wander over to the nest of an unpaired male.
Hmmm… What could she be thinking?
She goes through the standard courtship procedure. You know, the usual dip of the head and the coy look from the corner of the eye. If the male shows some interest, she will just lie prone as an invitation to mate. Once the mating is over, she picks up her payment (the stone) and heads back home to her unsuspecting mate.
Believe it or not, this is truly serious science. A researcher named Fiona M. Hunter of the University of Cambridge has been studying these cheating penguins for years. (Why anyone would ever want to study in such a cold place is beyond me. I was once offered a complete scholarship to do my graduate work in Antarctica. All the money in the world couldn't get me there. Instead, I decided to stay warm and chose a different college.)
Hunter also observed ten different females who played an even smarter game. Each of these penguins went through the whole mutual courtship routine, picked up their payment, and just left before any hanky panky ever took place. Oddly, the males showed no aggressive behavior for being denied their pleasure. In fact, these same females actually had the nerve to return for more pebbles. One female managed to get 62 stones from one male in just one hour. (Obviously, she was the Pam Anderson of the bird world.)
And her husband was the last to know…
"In my weird politically incorrect hypothetically incoherent contradicting obscured world definitively maybe"
-
SykomantiS
- Registered User
- Posts: 14085
- Joined: 06 Oct 2004, 02:00
- Location: Location, Location...
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
Old news is old...-
wizardofid
- Registered User
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- Joined: 03 Oct 2003, 02:00
- Processor: Intel 2500K
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- Location: I'm so Goth, my wrists slit themselves.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
A repost is in orderSykomantiS wrote:
"In my weird politically incorrect hypothetically incoherent contradicting obscured world definitively maybe"
-
Synthesis
- Registered User
- Posts: 14517
- Joined: 25 May 2006, 02:00
- Location: Location, Location
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless.
The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless.
The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
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Synthesis
- Registered User
- Posts: 14517
- Joined: 25 May 2006, 02:00
- Location: Location, Location
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
One night , in a sleepy town a huge chemical plant exploded into flames. The alarm went off and departments from miles around raced to the scene. After fighting the fire for over an hour the chemical company president approached the fire chief, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"
At that,the firemen attacked with a renewed gusto. Two hours later they still had not gained any ground. At that, the company president offered $100,000 to the engine company that brought out the company's secret files.
In the distance, the wail of yet another siren was heard and soon another fire truck came into sight. The fire chief shook his head, aware it was that little rinky-dink volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. Much to his amazement, though, the fire engine raced through the chemical plant gates and drove right into the middle of the inferno. He could see the old timers hopping off their rig , fighting the fire with an effort that he had never before witnessed.
Less than an hour later, the fire was out and the secret formulas were saved by this group of volunteers! The chemical company president was so ecstatic he doubled the reward to $200,000! After thanking the volunteers , the chemical company president couldn't help but ask what they planned to do with the reward money.
The engineer (driver) looked him tight in the eye, ready with his answer. "First thing we 'll do is fix the stupid brakes on that truck!"
At that,the firemen attacked with a renewed gusto. Two hours later they still had not gained any ground. At that, the company president offered $100,000 to the engine company that brought out the company's secret files.
In the distance, the wail of yet another siren was heard and soon another fire truck came into sight. The fire chief shook his head, aware it was that little rinky-dink volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. Much to his amazement, though, the fire engine raced through the chemical plant gates and drove right into the middle of the inferno. He could see the old timers hopping off their rig , fighting the fire with an effort that he had never before witnessed.
Less than an hour later, the fire was out and the secret formulas were saved by this group of volunteers! The chemical company president was so ecstatic he doubled the reward to $200,000! After thanking the volunteers , the chemical company president couldn't help but ask what they planned to do with the reward money.
The engineer (driver) looked him tight in the eye, ready with his answer. "First thing we 'll do is fix the stupid brakes on that truck!"
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Prime
- Registered User
- Posts: 27729
- Joined: 01 Mar 2004, 02:00
- Location: Getting into trouble
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
Zuma, on the tenth floor at the ANC HQ just finished ‘servicing’ one of his female acquaintances and rushed to have a shower. He realized that there was no soap and promptly called Malema whose office is on the second floor…Zuma said: ” comrade this is an emergency, I need some soap urgent..”. Malema promptly grabbed some soap and rushed out of his office. 45 minutes later, Malema arrived at Zumas office, out of breath and exhausted. “Why so long!!” Zuma shouted. Malema replied: “but boss you said it was an emergency…when I got to the lift there was a sign that said use stairs in case of emergency!!!
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Prime
- Registered User
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- Joined: 01 Mar 2004, 02:00
- Location: Getting into trouble
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
President Jacob Zuma met the Queen of England earlier this year. He asked her: “Your Majesty, are there any tips you can give me to run a government as efficiently as you do in the UK?”
“Well,” replied the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Zuma frowned. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”
The Queen took a sip of tea and said: “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”
The Queen pushed a button on her desk and said: “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”
Tony Blair walks into the room and said: “Yes, my Queen?”
The Queen smiled. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and Father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, “That would be me, your majesty.”
“Yes! Very good Tony,” replied the Queen.
When president Zuma returned to Cape town, he asked to speak to Julius Malema.When he arrived, Zuma asked: “Answer me this please, Julius. Your mother and your Father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
“I’m not sure,” replied Julius. “Let me get back to you on that one.” Julius returned to his advisors and asked everyone, but nobody can give him an answer. Finally, he ended up at the V&A Waterfront and bumped into Mark Lottering.
Julius looked around to see if anyone could overhear them, and he whispered: “Mark! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Mark whispered back: “That’s easy. It’s me!”
Julius smiled and thanked Mark before heading back to Parliament to speak with Zuma.”I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Mark Lottering.”
Zuma got up, stomped over to Julius, and angrily yelled into his face: “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
“Well,” replied the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Zuma frowned. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”
The Queen took a sip of tea and said: “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”
The Queen pushed a button on her desk and said: “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”
Tony Blair walks into the room and said: “Yes, my Queen?”
The Queen smiled. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and Father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, “That would be me, your majesty.”
“Yes! Very good Tony,” replied the Queen.
When president Zuma returned to Cape town, he asked to speak to Julius Malema.When he arrived, Zuma asked: “Answer me this please, Julius. Your mother and your Father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
“I’m not sure,” replied Julius. “Let me get back to you on that one.” Julius returned to his advisors and asked everyone, but nobody can give him an answer. Finally, he ended up at the V&A Waterfront and bumped into Mark Lottering.
Julius looked around to see if anyone could overhear them, and he whispered: “Mark! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Mark whispered back: “That’s easy. It’s me!”
Julius smiled and thanked Mark before heading back to Parliament to speak with Zuma.”I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Mark Lottering.”
Zuma got up, stomped over to Julius, and angrily yelled into his face: “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
A blonde, brunette and red head escaped from jail. They were being chased by the police. They were running through the streets when they saw an old barn. So they ran in and found three heshin bags. They all jumped in.
The coppers walked in the barn and saw the three heshin bags.
One copper goes to the other "Kick the heshin bags to make sure nothing’s in them"
So the copper walks up to the heshin bag with the brunette and kicked it.
The brunette said "Meow Meow" and the coppers thought it was a cat and walked to the next heshin bag.
The copper kicked the second heshin bag with the red head in it.
The red head said "Woof Woof" so the coppers walked to the third heshin bag thinking a dog was in the second one.
The copper kicked the third heshin bag with the blonde in it.
And the blonde said "Potatoes".
The coppers walked in the barn and saw the three heshin bags.
One copper goes to the other "Kick the heshin bags to make sure nothing’s in them"
So the copper walks up to the heshin bag with the brunette and kicked it.
The brunette said "Meow Meow" and the coppers thought it was a cat and walked to the next heshin bag.
The copper kicked the second heshin bag with the red head in it.
The red head said "Woof Woof" so the coppers walked to the third heshin bag thinking a dog was in the second one.
The copper kicked the third heshin bag with the blonde in it.
And the blonde said "Potatoes".
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Prime
- Registered User
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- Joined: 01 Mar 2004, 02:00
- Location: Getting into trouble
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
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rustypup
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- Posts: 8872
- Joined: 13 Dec 2004, 02:00
- Location: nullus pixius demonica
- Contact:
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
at first i thought "it couldn't be". then i realised it was...ADT wrote:heshin bags.
the word is "hessian"...
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so - Bertrand Russel
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
rustypup wrote:at first i thought "it couldn't be". then i realised it was...ADT wrote:heshin bags.
the word is "hessian"...
Nazi
Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
One night a lady pregnant with triplets was walking by and a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her in the stomach three times.
Her doctor told her that he couldn’t perform surgery because it would be too risky.
All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying.
"Whats wrong?" asked the mother.
"I was taking a pee and a bullet came out".
"It’s ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?"
"Yes" replied the girl.
"It’s ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the boy came running in crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. "No" replied the boy, "I was playing with myself and shot the dog!!!!!!!!"
Her doctor told her that he couldn’t perform surgery because it would be too risky.
All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying.
"Whats wrong?" asked the mother.
"I was taking a pee and a bullet came out".
"It’s ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?"
"Yes" replied the girl.
"It’s ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the boy came running in crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. "No" replied the boy, "I was playing with myself and shot the dog!!!!!!!!"
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rustypup
- Registered User
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- Joined: 13 Dec 2004, 02:00
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Re: Jokes! - come have a laugh
i hate to break it to you, but you're using this sad little meme in entirely the wrong context... if i were correcting a spelling/gramatical/contextual error, then you'd be well within your rights to claim the "over-pedantic enforcer of language" defence.ADT wrote:Nazi
sadly, however, the word "heshin" simple doesn't exist... thus, if you're going to trot out the "grammar nazi" meme whenever someone points out you're using a non-existent word, we may as well throw the dictionary away and start spouting nonsensical phrases/drooling at each other...
much like rap music...
<note to self... don't forget to include hurtbutzly face to show this was in jest...>
<edit>damn!
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so - Bertrand Russel