After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's
multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little
better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they
had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace
the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...
The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even
the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she
missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
.. including the curtain rods.
Be careful what you throw away.......
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Be careful what you throw away.......
"Integrity" and "integer" both contain a Latin root meaning "whole; complete." The root sense, then, is that people may be said to be acting with integrity when their beliefs, words, and actions have a sense of unity or wholeness.
I like this woman's brain wave! Wish I could meet her! 
NEVER TRY & OUTSMART A WOMAN.
NEVER TRY & OUTSMART A WOMAN.
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his
money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to
take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my
money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he
died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he
died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black,
and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony,
just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife
said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her,she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied "Listen, I'm a Christian,I can't go back on my
word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket
with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"
"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it"
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his
money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to
take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my
money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he
died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he
died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black,
and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony,
just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife
said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her,she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied "Listen, I'm a Christian,I can't go back on my
word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket
with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"
"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it"
"Integrity" and "integer" both contain a Latin root meaning "whole; complete." The root sense, then, is that people may be said to be acting with integrity when their beliefs, words, and actions have a sense of unity or wholeness.
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WoolyBadBaba
- Registered User
- Posts: 680
- Joined: 13 Mar 2004, 02:00
- Location: Pinetown, Durban
-
WoolyBadBaba
- Registered User
- Posts: 680
- Joined: 13 Mar 2004, 02:00
- Location: Pinetown, Durban