LAN characters - It's Magtastic!

If you want to tell the forum about a LAN or comment on one you've been to, here's the place to do so!
ElDiablo
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Post by ElDiablo »

I agree, and it's a better challange, If you were red and the enemies blue whatever, the game would be way too easy.. And a challange is always good..
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Prime
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Post by Prime »

then play capture the flag. :wink:

what about jack the "scrupulous pirate". he only pirates things when he cant get the genuine game. :wink:
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Post by wizardofid »

da_ripper wrote:then play capture the flag. :wink:

what about jack the "scrupulous pirate". he only pirates things when he cant get the genuine game. :wink:
um since when is some one a selective pirate?? :lol: :lol:
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Prime
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Post by Prime »

um since i am. i only copy games if i cant get the original. as is the case with academy
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Post by ElDiablo »

hmmmm, yes, I also only buy games that I really really really like, like DOOM3, NFSU2 and so on, those I payed for, but you wont catch me paying for HL1 or something like that...
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Post by Siemens »

This guy ( two guys actualy) is good in cs he has been playbing 7 years he says. and me 1 year .

and when i beat him in the game he refused to admit it. same with nfs u2 .

my car was way faster than his and he claims i never beat him.
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Prime
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Post by Prime »

i have had that experience with chess. the dued went as fatr as to call me a cheat and tried to assault me. what a sore loser. some people cant handle it.
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Re: LAN characters to be wary of - updated yet again.

Post by Iceblade »

Sojourn wrote:Hi

I am sure that the majority of regulars on this site have been at a LAN of some sort before and\or will be attending some in future. I have also attended lan-together's - some with friends in the lounge\dining room, some in a garage on the "bring your chum along" principle and some mega 100+ LAN's organized by an entity on a "register-and-pay-then-play" tournament basis. On all of these LAN's I (and friends) have encountered the 5 brain-dead persona's below. I have categorized them for you to notice and avoid.

1. Johnny "I didn't notice".
That's the guy that spills his drink on the table with a low-volume-verbal "oops", only for you to find your display's pedestal glued to the table once you leave hours later. Recognize him by the thin shaky arms and cooler bag with 50% booze.

2. Stevey "the frowning-head shaker".
He's the one that insists pettily on his game or map or game config setting, only because he practiced that map to death, knows every nook and cranny, but only if crates are enabled, with the quick start setting ticked with 6 players and he have the starting position in the top right hand corner of said map. Recognize him as the one insisting on hosting the game on his pc, even though he only runs a Celeron.

3. Maurice "the check my mod" wank3r.
Maurice is the one that selects the table where everyone have to walk past, with his case window (there WILL be a window, trust me!) facing the traffic. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT engage in conversation or compliment his case, as that will result in a lengthy discussion of his demel tool sizes and his 12 different sizes sand paper and air brushes. Recognize him by his rig with more colored lights and diodes than a 80's disco.

4. Nelly "the DJ".
Nelly is one of the most annoying lanners, as he conveniently forgot to bring his earphones. Dont be fooled though. The only reason why he "forgot" was so that he can market his latest virtual DJ compilation, a mix of Roxette and Mandoza. The downside of this is that when you' all get down to serious gaming, everybody's being drowned out by his souped sound. Recognize him from the installed 7.1 surround rig with sub and satellites all around him.

5. Jack "the unscrupulous pirate".
Nothing much needs to be said about Jack. His favorite line is "I have the no-cd patch". He is not beyond scanning the network neighborhood to find shares with no passwords to leech whatever he can, like a thief at an accident scene on the N1 around Jhb. He's the one that holds up the session because he needs to install the latest patch as his pirated version cant join the hosted game. Recognize him by his 3 or more virtual CD\DVD drives (Nero ImageDrive etc).

Dont say you have not been warned !!

S

PS If you know of any other characters out there to be wary of, make us aware !
that's funny,
I think I might be the modding guy :oops:
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Post by Zell »

brabham wrote:You know what gets to me is why the heck they make it so difficult to distinguish between two sets of players in CSS. I mean if say the one set were all red and the other set were say all blue wouldn't that be so much easier? Many a time I find myself parking off next to an enemy blissfully unaware that he is about to blow my head off and then laugh his head off. Also I waste countless seconds before emptying a clip on someone because I first have to check if he is friend or foe. Inevatably I get my head blown off before making the judgement call.

So I kill a few teamies occassionally, sue me. :?
I know how you feel. I only started playing cs this year, and when I went to Uber-lan with my friends, we made our own clan. I shot them by mistake a couple of times and they got really pissed. :lol:

Anyways, you guys know when you shoot 1 bullet by mistake into your teamie, and you let him shoot one bullet back, but for some reason your health is just disappearing because an enemy is behind you? HOW FRUSTRATING!!!@!!!!@&^%!@( :evil:

But worse than that, is when a noob teamy stands in front of you while you are in a firefight... You can either:
1. Not shoot your teammate but get killed with a bullet that went through that noob. Or
2. Kill that noob, and then kill the enemy. Thus your score is still the same, but you are more satisfied. :twisted:

And the worst:
When you are in a firefight, and your **** teammate hides behind you, and when you quickly need to move back to reload, you find you are stuck for some reason, and you die... :evil: :x :evil: :x :evil: :x :evil: :x
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Post by Snowflke »

The best for me was when I was opening fire on a Terrorist and the next minute my friend sidesteps right in to my bullets so funny. I also scare him on purpose by throwing I smoke grenade, waiting a while then appering in front of him(when hes in the thick of the smoke), he always kills me but I dont mind cause I give him a lecture about team killing and i make him feel bad about doing it. :lol:
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Post by Prime »

huh. must remeber that. oh the chaos that will cause in CS if i play against my friends
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Post by Archangel »

This is the funniest thread I have ever read. I have to admit, I am probably a mix of the helping with settings guy and the no patches dude, but even with the games that I bought, I use no cd patches.

About the friendly fire. If you kill a team mate in CS:Source you sit out for a round, which makes you not want to kill your friend even though you give him a few shots in the foot for shooting you and then end up killing him beacause he had only 10 health.

What about "Jimmy the chimney": the smokers who have to go out and have a smoke break every 15 minutes? Almost all the guys I LAN with regullarly are smokers and it is so damn irritating, like when you just got into playing a game and started killing all of them nicely they decide to go for a stupid smoke break!

I hope they add the list to the mag.
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Post by Siemens »

Once me and my team was at a stairway(going down) in condition zero. and another team mate caome from the botom and threw a smoke grendae towards us.after it went of i shot at him thinking he was a enemy and then i found out he was friendly and he shot the guy next to me thinking it was him that shot him.
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Post by Iceblade »

Zell_D wrote:
brabham wrote:You know what gets to me is why the heck they make it so difficult to distinguish between two sets of players in CSS. I mean if say the one set were all red and the other set were say all blue wouldn't that be so much easier? Many a time I find myself parking off next to an enemy blissfully unaware that he is about to blow my head off and then laugh his head off. Also I waste countless seconds before emptying a clip on someone because I first have to check if he is friend or foe. Inevatably I get my head blown off before making the judgement call.

So I kill a few teamies occassionally, sue me. :?
I know how you feel. I only started playing cs this year, and when I went to Uber-lan with my friends, we made our own clan. I shot them by mistake a couple of times and they got really pissed. :lol:

Anyways, you guys know when you shoot 1 bullet by mistake into your teamie, and you let him shoot one bullet back, but for some reason your health is just disappearing because an enemy is behind you? HOW FRUSTRATING!!!@!!!!@&^%!@( :evil:

But worse than that, is when a noob teamy stands in front of you while you are in a firefight... You can either:
1. Not shoot your teammate but get killed with a bullet that went through that noob. Or
2. Kill that noob, and then kill the enemy. Thus your score is still the same, but you are more satisfied. :twisted:

And the worst:
When you are in a firefight, and your **** teammate hides behind you, and when you quickly need to move back to reload, you find you are stuck for some reason, and you die... :evil: :x :evil: :x :evil: :x :evil: :x
I had this just last night playing online on Dashur3 :roll:

This dude run right infront of me when I was firing down the stares and I shot him in the head,
idiot,
but the next round he made me a rocket and kill me for killing him,
how lame is that,
I told him not to run into my line of fire, but he still did and kills me for killing him :evil:
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Prime
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Post by Prime »

i hate it when bots chuck grenades and kill you. in CS 1.6 you also sit out a round for a TK. so tunr it off. then it doesn't happen.
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Post by Iceblade »

this was online,
you can't turn that off,
the killed person gets a choice,
he can kill or forgive you :wink:
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Post by Sojourn »

Snowflke wrote:The best for me was when I was opening fire on a Terrorist and the next minute my friend sidesteps right in to my bullets so funny. I also scare him on purpose by throwing I smoke grenade, waiting a while then appering in front of him(when hes in the thick of the smoke), he always kills me but I dont mind cause I give him a lecture about team killing and i make him feel bad about doing it. :lol:
Did you guys see Over the Counter Strike on the cover DVD? Its exactly what happens in some of the games, just less talking. (Cracked myself watching that !!)

S
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Updated again

Post by Sojourn »

1. Johnny "I didn't notice".
That's the guy that spills his drink on the table with a low volume-verbal "oops", only for you to find your display's pedestal glued to the table once you leave hours later. Recognize him by the thin shaky arms and cooler bag with 50% booze.

2. Stevey "the frowning-head shaker".
He's the one that insists pettily on his game\map or game config setting, only because he practiced that map to death, knows every nook and cranny, but only if crates are enabled, with the quick start setting ticked with 6 players - and he have the starting position in the top right hand corner of said map. Recognize him as the one insisting on hosting the game on his pc, even though he only runs a Celeron.

3. Maurice "the check my mod" wank3r.
Maurice is the one that selects the table where everyone have to walk past, with his case window (there WILL be a window, trust me!) facing the traffic. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT engage in conversation or compliment his case, as that will result in a lengthy discussion of his dremel tool sizes as well as his 12 different sizes sand paper and air brushes. Recognize him by his rig with more colored lights and diodes than an 80's disco.

4. Nelly "the DJ".
Nelly is one of the most annoying lanners, as he conveniently forgot to bring his earphones. Dont be fooled though. The only reason why he "forgot" was so that he can market his latest virtual DJ compilation, a mix of Roxette and Mandoza. The downside of this is that when you’ all get down to serious gaming, everybody's being drowned out by his souped up sound. Recognize him from the installed 7.1 surround rig with sub and satellites all around him.

5. Jack "the unscrupulous pirate".
Nothing much needs to be said about Jack. His favorite line is "I have the no-cd patch". He is not beyond scanning the network neighborhood to find shares with no passwords to leech whatever he can, like a thief at an accident scene on the N1 around Jhb. He's the one that holds up the session because he needs to install the latest patch as his pirated version can’t join the hosted game. Recognize him by his 3 or more virtual CD\DVD drives (Nero ImageDrive etc).

6. Rob "the hacking\cracking\cheat mechanic".
Rob has been banned from at least one game session at his Lan because of his netherworld plug-ins and cheats. Rob's used to be the pimply faced kiddy on the first online version of Diablo, responsible for many second level character death's with his two day old 76th level barbarian fighter. He's also the netbus king, always on the prowl for that ultimate prank without being caught out. Recognize him as the guy asking you to run a file on your pc - guaranteed to be a backdoor app.

7. Andrè "the moaning groaner".
André’s a likable guy. Really. That is until he joins up to a hosted game. His lack of overall "gaming-talent" not only makes him the most easy and probable target\cannon fodder, but it also turns him into a cursing generator, the words yet to be matched, no duplicate per sentence. André invariably ends up sitting back on his chair with his arms crossed on his chest lamenting the fact (despite his new 6600gt and 3500+ AMD) that his hardware is costing him frags, while the rest carries on gaming, ignorant. Thus he can be recognized (and ignored).

8. Larry "the Leech"
This hero doesn't come to LANs to play games but rather to leech as much software/music/video/porn as he can and then gloat Gollum-like over all his new loot. Recognizable through his shifty-eyed approach and constant nasal dribble, this guy has the latest high-capacity hard drives on which to store all his stuff; the poor version of this guy insists that you burn him a CD or DVD now - and he conveniently never has a spare blank of his own. He's the reason for lag on the network and should be pitch forked in his chair before being thrown out. Larry is a not too distant cousin of Jack.

9. Tim "the Uber sim\racing gamer".
This is the only guy who brings his own chair to the LAN, and not just any chair, but a full lounge sofa chair with back support. He brings all kinds of peripherals like a force feedback steering and flight sim joystick. Has 200Gb of installed games like NFSU2, MS Flight Simulator, NASCAR 2005, etc. which nobody else plays, or laments the fact that his newest flight sim does not have a multiplayer mode. Tim ends up playing his single-player-only flight sim all by himself at the LAN. He would bring his mini-fridge if the crash helmet and driving gloves didn't take up so much space in the car. Recognize him with the Comic Book Guy appearance from the Simpson’s - brown hair worn back, in a pony-tail, prescription pants and a double chin.

10. Quinton "The Anime Guy".
Has 400 GB’s of anime leeched from LAN’s. Can recite every line from Naruto and is forever burning DVD’s of them. He watches them at LAN’s while other people are playing multiplayer Battlefield 2 or Call of Duty. Is forever installing and re-installing codec's as well.

11. Matt "The Insomniac Counter Striker".
Matt is the lanner that’s first to arrive and last to leave. This guy plays Counter Strike Source the whole lanning session like it's a marathon. As soon as his session ends he will join a server as soon as it’s available, without a break. He survives primarily on coffee, brought in a 2L flask. At home during single-player practice he yells and swears constantly waking everybody up every 45 minutes during the werewolf hours. Recognize him from the bloodshot eyes with hanging bags beneath.

12. Anton "The Dota Fanatic"
Anton lives and sleeps dota. Plays it so often can't even remember how the original Warcraft III looks like. Can recite all the spells and items to collect and will inform you while playing which items to buy for your hero. Is on Level 37 were everybody else is on level 10. Watch him writher in agony when it’s announced that Unreal Tournament will be played next.

13. Joe "the social guy".
Joe is dragged along reluctantly by a friend, and to justify his presence, he brought along his vintage P1 with Dos6.22 and Windows95. He’s definitely not at the Lan to play games, but for one of these reasons: (a)he only have a P1 that cant play any of the hosted games (b)he dont even like games, he wants to chat on iRC (c) he comes in hope to get some free booze. You will see him standing there drooling over someone’s Uber PC or keep telling someone who is a good player how to play a game. Joe likes talking about everything, games or not, while you're concentrating on your game – recognize him by spotting the guy, drink in hand, and walking up and down peeking over everyone’s shoulder with lame comments.

14. “Desperately Horny” Harry.
Puffs up as soon as any female gamer enters the room - doesn't look her in the eye, but makes sure to move his body around a bit whenever she looks in his general direction so he's noticed. Tilts his monitor in her direction so she can see what a stone-cold killer he is, but tilts it the other way if his frag-count isn't the highest. Yells a buzz-phrase from the latest Yank movie at each kill so she knows how cool he really must be ("Yippe-kai-ay, mother*****!"). Makes an excuse to bend far over something so she can check out his buns, and tries to remember all the pickup-lines posted on the PCF-forums so he can try them out - which he never does, 'cos he's just too cool to approach (ie - scared witless).

15. Tom “the, well, peeping Tom”
Tom does not have to be mulled over as we all have met him at least once. He’s the guy that always peeps on your screen to check where you’re "hiding" so to speak, but heaven save your soul should you just glance in his screen’s direction. Recognize him by the rubberneck.

16. Frikkie “the firewall” aka “ADT Security”
This guy always has problems with his pc and as luck would have it, he's always the guy hosting the server or has problems connecting to the network because he has one to many firewalls installed. If he doesn't get it fixed and you are lucky enough to be seated next to him, you will be patted on the arm to help him at the most crucial moment of your game. Recognize him from the “my PC just crashed” look on his face.

18. Brad "The Cool Gamer Guy"
The only lanner of the lot to bring a printer to the session, meet Brad. He’s the guy that is not only really good but boasts about how good he is. In his possession you will find printed copies of match statistics in single player, LAN multiplayer as well as online multi-player format. He is listed and ranked online and makes no effort to hide this fact. He will be unable to join directly after a game session, as he needs to capture all the screens with the post-game stats. Listen for a printer and you will find him.

19. Lisa “the gamer chick”
Lisa, often the point of focus for Harry, is truly only present to LAN and game. Not strikingly beautiful, but she does have selling points for playing CS and Battlefield2. Lisa can participate in most game and IT related conversations and turns heads when she laughs. She often ends up rated first, second or third in a hosted session. Lisa favorite line is “a chick whipped your butt!!”

20. Neville "The Newbie".
Neville is often encountered as the brother or friend of one of the regulars. He consistently asks for help with connecting to the network and still does not grasp the concept "new lan-new ip". Although having a decent CPU and Grafix setup, he fails to understand that hardware dont compensate for experience or lack thereof. Neville has the potential to turn into Andre as he gets exposed. If YOU brought him to the Lan, be ready to act as an immediate always-available helpdesk, even at the most akward of times during gameplay.

21. Jimmy "the chimney".
All lan's have the gamer present in love with fresh unpolluted air and as such, the lan area is generally declared smoke-free. Enter Jimmy. He will unerringly find the chair next to an emphysema asthmatic, in spite of a range of inhalers next to the poor guys keyboard. Jimmy, waiting for when the session is at its high, will light up a plain hoping that nobody will notice. Nobody does, that is untill the people around him starts gasping for air. At that point 15 minute interval sprints between his gamestation and the outside will happen, to the detriment of his CS team. Recognize him as the guy with yellow teeth and fingertips looking like he washed it with iodene.

22. Ben "the bigot".
Opposed to women joining the military, parliament and lans, Ben is a cornerstone advocating male chauvinism without being verbal. Unwavering in his resolve that women belongs in the kitchen, he will, faithful to his creed, hunt the female players down in a game session just to prove a point - and ends up getting fragged more than 50% of the time. Ben can be recognized when he targets ANY female FPS character, controlled by a girl or not.
Last edited by Sojourn on 24 Aug 2005, 09:03, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Kher-za »

lol.

pcf material right over here.
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Post by Ark »

:lol: :lol: :lol: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Post by ElDiablo »

Another guy that you can always find at LANs is the Lover..
The guy who has a pic (or 1000) of his "girlfriend" on his wallpaper. He makes sure everyone sees it an keeps telling everyone how he scored last night.
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Post by Prime »

hey what about luke "the biggot"
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Post by Sojourn »

da_ripper wrote:hey what about luke "the bigot"
Dictionary.com describes bigot as "One who through ignorance adheres obstinately to a social, political, or religious belief, opinion, or practise, and is intolerant of others who hold different views." How does this translate into a Lan character ? Gimmy more info.

S
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Prime
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Post by Prime »

i explained it a few pages back. i will find and quote it
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Post by Prime »

da_ripper wrote:i know Lisa "the Gamer chick" but she doesnt boast like that. still its nice to have girls at a Lan as it keeps the guys in order.

What about luke "the narrow minded biggot so to speak". He's the guy who can't stand the idea of Girls At a Lan or is to Embarrassed that they mite just be better than him. He has an ego the size of the Sun and Usually Refuses to even Attend at the mention of Girls Coming. he will go as far as to say that "any girl who plays computer Games has something wrong with her".

btw you mite want to edit out Luke and change the name as thats the name of my narrow minded friend.
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