Funniest comments in code

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RuadRauFlessa
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by RuadRauFlessa »

Found a comment the other day....

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// If you are not good enough to debug this then you should not be coding.
Was in a class above some random math in a recursive function which for some or other reason has no return statement. :scratch:

Got a couple of others I added to some code last week...

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// if you can't figure out what this class does find another job

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/*
   2012.03.19 - Initial implementation
   2012.03.20 - Changed around the columns by request of our lovely Call Center Manager
   2012.03.21 - Another change for our beloved Call Center Manager. Swapped the axis on the graphs
   2012.03.21 - Why oh why do we have meetings with all of these people in the same room in order to spec these things... Canceling all the meetings for the rest of time while busy adding alternate row colours... yellow and green lines are going to look so nice. I'm already starting to puke.
   2012.03.22 - Another change after proving that their logic is flawed and that they need to get a damn life... This time our SLA manager wants a column added to a report he is not even getting. Added the SLA Target to the report.
  2012.03.23 - Showed this log to my direct manager and he instructed for all changes to be undone and for these people to go fly a kite... so now I'm sitting and wasting time again... how lovely isn't the weather this time of year.
*/

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// 
// Next time someone decides to book this code out and butcher it please for heavens sake don't change the 
// threading. I don't want to fix your **** again. Concurrent processing is fine but when you are trying to process
// 40,000 odd files at the same time and dump their data into a database it is seriously not cool to try and do it 
// with a single thread for each one and all at once either.
//
// So when in doubt.... !@#$ off
//
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Ron2K
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Ron2K »

You know you have a tad too much free time when you start putting xkcd references in code comments.

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if (stopCondition) // ******!  ABORT!  ABORT!  (http://www.xkcd.com/1029/)
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Tribble »

ROFL -= I read these to the other students today - they loved them. Trying to recruit new members I am
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by doo_much »

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/* Display smilies (Bug #47265) */
Meaning allowing the use of smilies is a bug? :shock:

By the way - this is from the print style sheet of the G3ar theme I currently use....
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Ron2K »

^^ Nope, meaning that there was a bug causing smilies to not be displayed correctly. Original bug report here.
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by SykomantiS »

Just found this in one of our source files.

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#region <summary>
        //.--    .-""-.
        //.   ) (     )
        //.  (   )   (
        //.     /     )
        //.    (_    _)                     0_,-.__
        //.      (_  )_                     |_.-._/
        //.       (    )                    |     \    
        //.        (__)                     |__--_/          
        //.     |''   ``\                   |
        //.     |        \                  |      /b/
        //.     |         \  ,,,---===?A`\  |  ,==y'
        //.   ___,,,,,---==""\        |M] \ | ;|\ |>
        //.           _   _   \   ___,|H,,---==""""bno,
        //.    o  O  (_) (_)   \ /          _     AWAW/
        //.                     /         _(+)_  dMM/
        //.      \@_,,,,,,---=="   \      \\|//  MW/
        //.--''''"                         ===  d/
        //.                                    //   SET SAIL FOR FAIL!
        //.                                    ,'_________________________
        //.   \    \    \     \               ,/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        //.                         _____    ,'  ~~~   .-""-.~~~~~~  .-""-.
        //.      .-""-.           ///==---   /`-._ ..-'      -.__..-'
        //.            `-.__..-' =====\\\\\\ V/  .---\.
        //.                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~, _',--/_.\  .-""-.
        //.                            .-""-.___` --  \|         -.__..-
        //.
        //. This is a temp fix until toolbox items are rewritten with posititiong.
        #endregion
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Cyrax »

Isn't that similar to the logo lulzsec used? O_O
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by SykomantiS »

It probably is :lol:

Also:

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/// <returns>bool value weather a assocation was found or not</returns>
It hurts... :cry:
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by DeathStrike »

Ron2K wrote:I left this above a particularly nasty piece of code that I wrote earlier this week:

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// here begins the Dark Magic - a ritual of Pain and Suffering to appease the Evil Gods (aka the Marketing Department).
Hahaha

I take it the marketing department in all companies are bad... Mine are. :lol:
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by DarkStar »

I didn't want to start a new thread, so I figured this is the best place for this...

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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Tribble »

Very funny
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by DeathStrike »

I loled :lol:
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Anakha56 »

Something from Google about goats...

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  /**
     * Used to determine whether the user making this call is subject to
     * teleportations.
     *@return whether the user making this call is a goat
     */
    public boolean isUserAGoat() {
        return false;
    }
One of the Android Developers on G+ that I follow posted that. Apparently in Google Chrome if you do the following:
If in Chrome, do Shift-Esc. Right click on any process and you get a list of data elements to display. One of them is "Goats Teleported".
You see teleporting goats as well...

/Apple probably has "Nuking Android" references in its iOS code... :P
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Ron2K »

Sneakily inserted into a switch statement's default clause:

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// I'M TWELVE YEARS OLD AND WHAT IS THIS?
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by DeathStrike »

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// oops, wrong parameter passed... die yankee *******!
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Ron2K »

Not a code comment, but close enough. This happened the other day in one of the IRC channels I sit in.

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--> steristumpie (~emotality@SF-C2010FDC.dynamic.isadsl.co.za) has joined #programming
<steristumpie> any ios developers?
<anonymous> thats prolly worse than OS/2 even, why not android? :p
<anonymous> its never too late to change for the better
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Stuart »

Looking at a .htaccess file on a website I am working on, and while this obviously serves a purpose, I lol'd when I saw this:

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# Disable etags -- less headers
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by SykomantiS »

Win! :lol:
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by GDI_Lord »

:lol:
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by Hman »

Not a comment in code, but a little song for programmers to sing while drinking their sorrows away.

99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs in the code
Take one down, patch it around
117 little bugs in the code
"Every thinking man is a drinking man."


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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by GreyWolf »

HAH!
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist that black flag, and begin slitting throats."
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Re: Funniest comments in code

Post by DeathStrike »

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//HACK - this was requested by the client and client understands risks and impacts and forced us into this
Love clients like this. :lol:
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