The chronicles of the Burger Marines
Posted: 08 Feb 2013, 14:46
I am loving these fan fiction stories.
Read of the Burger Marines revenge here
The Burger Marines had several planets at their disposal. All of them were of course covered in facilities that could have been useful for the Marines' activities, and were all specialized in a way. Holstein Prime was one such planet : its speciality was the breeding and herding of ambulls which would then be used for making the burgers served in the chapter's restaurant. The planet's surface was completely covered with lush grass fields, allowing the beasts to prosper before being brought in the gigantic slaughterhouses the planet was also housing.
Most of the Burger Marines working on the planet were gathered in those slaughterhouses. Which eased the task of the scout who ran into the planet governor's office, obviously panicked.
« - Brother-captain ! This is a catastrophe !
- Calm down, young one, replied the captain. Tell me what is happening.
- A terrible plague, brother ! A pandemic is spreading on the planet, making all our beasts fall ill ! All of them ! They're becoming too fouled for consumption !
- Oh please, young one... As if it stopped us in the past...
- It's also making their meat taste like broccoli. »
This time, the Burger Marine captain rose from his seat.
« This is unacceptable ! We have to stop this ! Do we know what caused this !?
- Well, yes, brother-captain... We found bomb shells on the initial sites of infection. Our biologists determined that those bombs were filled with various germs and bacteries.
- Then this is an attack ! Only one kind of traitor would do such a thing... »
Just at this moment, the captain's communicator started to beep, indicating that somebody was trying to contact him. A bit surprised, he still took the call.
And on the screen, appeared a Marine, clad in a lime green armor. His helmet was adorned with horns, and his pauldron was sporting the symbol of an abundance horn.
« - VEGAN MARINES ! Screamed the Burger Marine captain, enraged.
- Yes, animal executionners ! Said the Vegan Marine. Your cynical rule is going to end ! When we will have finished, you will never be able to make any of those beasts suffer on this planet anymore !
- We'll see about this, heretic scum ! No one angers the Burger Marines and live !
- Spill your hatred as much as you want, but there is nothing you can do ! As your herds are getting poisonned, you cannot use them for making your filthy burgers anymore ! And the galaxy will finally find another way of finding its nutrients, in a way that won't make animals suffer uselessly ! »
The Vegan Marine started to laugh, a dark and twisted laugh that echoed in the office, a laugh that would have chilled the bones of anyone who wouldn't be a Burger Marine. The captain gritted his teeth, his anger reaching immeasurable heights...
Then, something hit him.
« Wait a second... You're trying to make us stop hurting animals by making those same animals suffer ? »
The Vegan Marine kept on laughing, but it quickly withered and died. A few seconds later, he was silently looking at the Burger Marine, suddenly feeling not really at ease.
He then turned to look at some other person offscreen.
« You know, said the Vegan Marine to his invisible colleague, I suddenly have the feeling that we haven't really thought this through... »