Tales from the (PCF) crypt

[Drakonis]

It was the day before deadline and all through the board
Not a creature was stirring, only Mike's RS hoard
Our bandwidth is burning up white-hot and fast
Searching for downloads of WoW's newest class
Our Editor's screaming and going insane
Having arb meetings on deadline is lame
Mike has gone missing elsewhere it appears
For at the moment he is not assaulting our ears
Brett has gone mental, right off of his face
No-one has noticed because this is normally the case
Now I must leave you, mental circuits have tripped
Later we have more from the PCF crypt

*needs coffee and a less strenuous deadline*

[UrBaN]

Awesomeness

[hamin_aus]

[Anakha56]

I am so glad that the PCF team are a part of the forum now .

Really funny and jamin that icon FTW!

[UrBaN]

Agreed on PCF being part of the forum, it really makes the whole PCF community a little closer, more approachable.

[americantsm1]

what if one does not want to be tho ... for example what if I do not want to be approachable?

Or approached?

lol just kidding

@ Drakonis I think that if that whole ED part is true ... we may have some photos of him you may use ... from school days ... as blackmail

[Drakonis]

Thanks guys. I think...
americantsm1, I have video footage somewhere somewhere...
@ everyone else, don't expect these posts to all rock up in poetry format. I'm not that creative unless I'm being paid for it *hangs head in shame* yes, I'm a media *****. Can I say ***** here?

EDIT: Apparently I can't say ***** here. How did that happen?

If I get the time and need to vent, I may continue to chronicle the adventures of the PCF staffers in here. That is, if anyone is actually interested.
i.e., the next time Grandma's Boy runs out of gas, you'll know about it, etc etc

[americantsm1]

@ Drakonis, oh I think it will be brilliant just write what you can when you can (I shall keep a look out) ... just try not to say s1de....b4r...

[UrBaN]

Do it! I'm sure we are all interested, and we may even be able to convince Stuart that it's time for another PCF Newspaper...

[Anakha56]

@ Drakonis, oh I think it will be brilliant just write what you can when you can (I shall keep a look out) ... just try not to say s1de....b4r...

Do it! I'm sure we are all interested, and we may even be able to convince Stuart that it's time for another PCF Newspaper...

+infinity!

[Prime]

ROFLOL.

[Synthesis]

Well this explains why our last issue was released so late.

[Stuart]

Do it! I'm sure we are all interested, and we may even be able to convince Stuart that it's time for another PCF Newspaper...

oi ... neale owns the newspaper, you cake! i just contribute articles every now and again.

*puts sn24 article on his to-do list*

americantsm1, you have schoolboy photos of ed? pics or it never happened ...

Drakonis, orsm ... i particularly like the way that the second line avoided the stereotypical use of the mouse ... some spammers can learn a christmas lesson from that ...

[Drakonis]

Know your PCF staffers when they're at a Call of Duty LAN 101

Nab - Goes by Boerrie when in combat mode. Tends to take charge (just like in the office) but not everyone always listens (just like in the office ). Fearsome when in full battle stride, will rack up a seven kill streak in very short order if you're not paying attention. Natural ninja, has a knack for being where you least expect. Possibly… Wait, scratch that, THE best with a knife or bayonet kill in the entire team although he has imparted some of this wisdom to the rest of the crew (by the expedient method of knifing us from behind at ever opportunity in practice sessions).
Ruthless with an SMG or LMG, favors the AK47 in COD4 (never misses) and the Frisbee in COD5 but will do you with any weapon. Has very few flaws that can be exploited but can sometimes have an off game. Treasure these because you'll get your behind handed to you in the next round in a very big way. Close to mid-range killer.

Drakonis - The de facto sniper in the team. Has above average aim at a distance but has other skills accounting for the sniper role. Wicked off the mark with a snap-shot with the bolt-action rifle in COD4 and will take your head off with any weapon with an aperture or red dot sight. From across the map. Sneaky as hell for the most part, the most unconventional player in the team. Talented at guerilla combat, will rack up a fifteen kill streak and you'll never ever see where you were killed from. This is without a silencer. Bolt-action sniper in COD4 and STG in COD5 are the tools of his trade but can snipe accurately with anything from an Anti-Aircraft cannon to a handgun.
If you put him down, make sure he is dead, is known to rack up a five-to-seven kill streak while in Last Stand. Can nail a headshot with a .357 from across the map. On a bad day, will always end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, dying repeatedly. Gets less frustrated than the rest of the team about a negative kill-death ratio. Mid to long-range killer, loves setting traps.

Killerbyte - The official Rambo and cannon fodder. Very much upfront with combat, he'll kill you from the front most times (unlike the two above). The quintessential storm trooper, KB will rush almost anything, good odds or not. Favors assault weapons in general, the M14 with an ACOG in COD4 and the M1 Garand (which he cannot pronounce) in COD5. The least talented with a sniper's rifle out of the bunch but this still makes him pretty decent with his aim. Lacks the knack for silent movement to exploit this. On a good round, can pick off an entire team with headshots while in full view of all of them. Extremely accurate with assault weapons (best in the group, easily)
Very loud when moving around maps, has no concept of silent movement. Disregards cover on bad days, to his detriment and doesn't need it on good ones. Because he moves so quickly, is vulnerable to Claymores and Bouncing Bettys but if he manages to evade them, you're deep in the poo. Does not really do close combat but can sometimes act like Rincewind's Luggage. There is the sound of running feet from behind and suddenly you are a corpse, courtesy of KB's blade. KB is the only one who can use a shotgun properly. Mid-range is king, shotgun for close quarters.

Crunje - PCF's Art Director, designer and all-round sneaky bugger. Has taught the entire team something about the art of concealment and has discovered the very best spots to snipe from in each and every map along with Widower (our last member). Has a very accurate aim and the patience to wait for his shot once in position. Loves to snipe but lacks the kill-and-run tactical sense needed for lengthy survival in that situation. Loves to snipe with cannons, the Barrett is a firm favorite but handles everything but the shotgun with ease.
Often provides overwatch for the rest of the team but is best in support roles. If Crunje is running alongside Drakonis or Widower, kills just seem to happen all-round. Not really an assault kinda guy but he'll clear an entrenched hardpoint on his own if you let him get close. Somehow able to snipe with a silenced SMG from long distances. Pretty easygoing about being fragged, just behind Drakonis but this is because he very often avoids that fate. Can have an off game but this just means his kill rate drops, very rarely gets caught out of position. His only fault is he tends to remain stationary too long, this means he eventually gets picked off. Close and long-range specialist.

Widower - The design HOD and our all-round killing machine. Easily has the best aim from a distance with a sniper's rifle but relegates the role to Drakonis most of the time (see above). Can kill anything with anything, has the best situational awareness out of the entire team. Hones his skill with constant online play, hence he has the best map knowledge of the lot. Very accomplished ninja but is remarkable in all roles from assault to support. If teamed with Crunje, Boerrie or Drakonis, he cannot be stopped easily.
Can use the widest range of weaponry and does not specialise much. Very tactical in his approach to a game and hates to lose. On an off day, will be caught out of place but tends to recover fast (though his Teamspeak conversation is a little blue at these times). Hates being revealed by teammates when he is in ninja mode. Best area of expertise is close-up assault combat (MP5's shouldn't do what he can make them do) rather than sniping. When stationary, he becomes one with the map. Right up until he materialises behind you and cuts your throat. All-round shooter, close, mid and long range are roughly equal.

General Info - Boerrie has taught us all the art of the knife and in a normal (i.e. not Hardcore) game, 90% of our kills are with a blade.
The Two-Man Buddy system is always in effect during a game and KB is usually the roving assault distraction. If you hear him coming, silent death is in another direction.
Camping equals death, Team PCF can 'nade most of those spots on autopilot.
Crunje has showed us the (very) best spots to hide; we are all decent as ninja.
Widower taught us how to move quickly and quietly (KB didn't listen as usual), you won't hear us. Better spot us first.
Drakonis has yet to teach everyone how to be truly sneaky because he doesn't know how he does it. Has, however, taught everyone how to maximize kills with Bettys and Claymores.

[UrBaN]

*runs hand together gleefully*

Hans! Ze zekret is owt!

[Drakonis]

Fat lot of good it'll do...

[UrBaN]

Drakonis, what is happening with the PCF LANs? I would really like the opportunity to meet the staff, as well as engage in a good LAN, something we all enjoy.

[Drakonis]

Updates are coming soon regarding the LANs, that info will appear elsewhere. In the meantime, you'll usually spot Team PCF at LANs around JHB for the moment. We were at the last Mayhem, prodding buttock and inscribing monikers, as it were.

[UrBaN]

That's a decidedly cryptic asnwer which leaves me in the exact same position I was in before asking

Ok, will wait for more info

[Drakonis]

Season 1, Episode 1

Our heroes Nick, Brett and Mike have just come off an incredibly hard deadline. Fate has seen fit to step in and slam them with another one at the last minute, thereby making sure that they will be having a very sleepless weekend for all the wrong reasons.
Brett forgot to wake up for work, though this is still better than when he left for work without pants last week. Nick has gone missing, is working from home *cough* WoW *cough* and we are all wondering if Mike will ever find love with something that does not require a molex connector.
Will our heroes ever stop watching Heroes?
Will Brett finish his work on time?
Will Mike run out of petrol again?
Find out more in our next episode...

[Stuart]

dammit ... i hate cliff hangers.

[Anakha56]

I have one problem

Where are the Pirates in your LAN crew? Only thing I read is Ninjas...

/brilliant write up!

[Drakonis]

Slight shortage of swords and hooks in COD... only reason we have no pirates. Though KB IS on the team...

[Tribble]

Lol this thread is very entertaining. I think the knowledge gleaned here is invaluable

[Drakonis]

Season One Episode Two

The PCF weekend began early on Friday (for two of our heroes at least) as Brett and Nick bailed from the office early to check out some preview stuff from... well, that is embargoed for the moment.
Shortly afterwards, they made their way to a bar (pretty sure it was a bar) and awaited the arrival of everyone else from the office. Eventually, Mike and the rest of Team PCF were present, along with about ten other people. Drinks were half price.
Mike bailed early *cough* wuss *cough*, see Grandma's Boy's Corner for details. The rest of us remained, watching the evening rapidly going pear-shaped. Brett was sighted near midnight kicking crates around a Mickey D's parking lot. (This actually happened)
Nick preserved the life of his subordinate, getting Brett home in one piece. Shortly afterwards, Brett discovered that one can in fact build an entire computer while a little... er... wobbly but it is a much better idea to wait till morning to install Windows.
Nick was pretty silent the rest of the weekend (perhaps Valentine's Day had something to do with that), Brett got hold of his angel and Mike... well...
Team PCF spent the rest of the weekend working, hence the bleary eyes and caffiene drips in evidence this morning.

Stay tuned for more in our next episode